NBA Executive Of The Year Yells ‘F*ck Brooklyn (Nets)’

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Masai Ujiri, Toronto Raptors general manager and 2013 NBA Executive of the Year, went off during a pep rally before the team’s game against the Nets. Hey, a Canadian invented basketball. I guess a Toronto Raptors employee should be able to say f**k another team.

-Dewan Gibson

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Republican Tries To Win Votes By Slapping An Obama Doll

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What else would you expect from a guy named Beau McCoy? Of course he’s a freedom and free speech-loving conservative republican, except when it comes to YouTube, where he disabled ratings and comments for this video. So since I couldn’t say it there, I’ll say it here: Man, you hit like a bitch!

-Dewan Gibson

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Prenatal Twerk Team: A Baby Can’t Stop This Show

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Twerking can lead to pregnancy (on the dance floor), but pregnancy shouldn’t stop you from twerking. What a beautiful cycle. Go on and twerk through labor.

-Dewan Gibson

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Don’t Expect Raekwon To Be On The New Wu-Tang Album

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I sort of understand what Rae is saying, but he’s asking for two conflicting things: RZA’s classic sound and new beats from today’s most popular producers, which leads me to believe this conflict is mostly about money (he says as much in the interview). If it was completely about the music Rae wouldn’t be on the single copy album that they’re planning to auction for at least five million dollars. Here’s an idea: RZA should use a recording of all this complaining as the intro on the upcoming album. Full interview available at Rolling Stone.

What do you mean specifically when you say the team is compromised?
This shit is not right. It’s not making us give the fans the best that we can give them. So of course we have a problem with that. It’s like coming out with some music that you’re not feeling. Therefore, it’s being compromised by RZA and his brother Devine, Mitchell Diggs. My thing is, yeah, he’s right, we’re on different pages when it comes to being creative because RZA, you’re not in the field no more. I’m still paying attention to what’s going on and an amazing group that’s got so much potential to be bigger than what they are if they just focus and come out with great music. On “Keep Watch,” you put this new young kid [Nathaniel] on there who nobody knows who he is – and I’m not taking shots at the kid – but I don’t even know who he is. That song is something that the crew didn’t have knowledge of, from what I’m being told. Dudes ain’t feeling good about it.

What do you think of “Keep Watch”?
I hate it. I hate it. I don’t hate shit, but I hate that fuckin’ record. It ain’t the gunpowder that my brothers are spitting; it’s the production. And I ain’t shitting on the producer because he’s one of our soldiers. But if it ain’t where it need to be… It’s 20 years later. We talkin ’bout a whole new generation is sitting here representin’ and making fiery shit and you telling me that we comin out with some mediocre shit? That ain’t part of our plan.

-Dewan Gibson

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Whoopi Goldberg’s Weed Blog

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Weed is legal in Colorado, duh, and Whoopi Goldberg is contributing to The Cannabist, a marijuana interest site ran by The Denver Post. In her first post, Whoopi writes of her vape pen the way ‘Pac wrote of his gun in “Me and My Girlfriend.” Fair comparison, I guess. From The Cannabist:

My vape pen and I maintain a mostly private relationship. Sure, I’ll sometimes show my pen to a friend or share her with a close confidant. But mostly it’s just she and I working through my pain. And her ability to help me live comfortably with glaucoma makes her one of the more important figures in my day to day.

When I show her to a friend, the reaction 99 percent of the time is: “Holy shit, where did you get this and how can I get me one?” They’re seriously that blown away by my vape pen. And they should be. She’s that amazing…

The vape pen has changed my life. No, I’m not exaggerating. In fact, her name is Sippy. Yes, she’s a she. And yes, I named her Sippy because I take tiny, little sips — sassy sips, even — from her. And with each sip comes relief — from pressure, pain, stress, discomfort. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

-Dewan Gibson

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Genius Republicans Start ‘Boats ‘N Hoes’ Political Group

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This might be the biggest Republican accomplishment since freeing the slaves. Hell, I think I’ve found a new political party. Obstructionism, unprovoked war, anti-equality, the Southern Strategy…never heard of it. Give me boats and hoes and all is forgiven.

The campaign for Wendy Davis is hitting Republican Greg Abbott, her opponent in the race for Texas governor, for his ties to a firm whose comptroller recently created a political action committee named Boats ’N Hoes PAC.

“The language used by Greg Abbott’s consultants is offensive to every Texas mother and daughter — and the men who love them — and has no place in politics,” said Davis spokeswoman, Rebecca Acuña, according to the San Antonio Express-News.

The PAC — whose name might be a possible reference to the movie “Step Brothers” — was registered earlier this month by Shaun Nowacki, the outlet reported on Wednesday. Nowacki is currently listed as a comptroller for Blakemore & Associates, which advised eight previous Abbott campaigns from 1991 to 2004, the outlet said (Politico).

-Dewan Gibson

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TGI Fridays Serves Drinks Made From Rubbing Alcohol

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Kind-of-old news (from May of 2013), but TGI Fridays and other New Jersey area bars have been caught trying to pass dirty water and rubbing alcohol off as top shelf liquor. Shady! Still, if you were trying to ball out at your local TGI Fridays the joke was already on you.

The bars, which include 13 TGI Fridays, have been accused of using cheap liquor, dirty water and rubbing alcohol instead of premium booze customers ordered, AP reports. Police confiscated 1,000 open bottles of vodka, gin, rum, scotch, whiskey and tequila from the wells of the bars, according to a statement from the New Jersey Attorney General’s Office…

The police learned of the illegal sales thanks to confidential informants, customer complaints and sample tests recovered by undercover police officers. The samples were tested using the True Spirit Authenticator — a device that can quickly analyze what’s inside an alcoholic drink. Any samples that were flagged were sent to the drink manufacturers’ labs for further testing, The Record reports (International Business Times).

-Dewan Gibson

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Debo Using His Good Eye To Check Out Women With Snoop

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What I learned: 1) Tiny Lister is not the guy from The Green Mile; 2) Therefore Tiny Lister is not dead.

-Dewan Gibson

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Young Man Socks Old Man For Better View At Easter Parade

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Apparently the young dude wanted a better view of the Easter bunny or something so he socked and bloodied the old man. If anything this video shows the importance of having kids, preferably boys. Once you turn gray and start looking like Matlock young punks get disrespectful and try to test you. You can pull out your burner, and possibly face jail time, or just say, “I’m callin’ my boys, they ‘gon f**k you up!” (The Local).

-Dewan Gibson

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Poll Shows Most Americans Don’t Believe Obama Is Black

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Come on…he’s named BARACK, plays basketball, dated white women in college, and can’t even think about getting his haircut at Best Cuts–how much blacker can he be?  Poll results below. In short, the only people that think he’s black are other black people. I wonder what the results would show if he was a “guest star” on a show like Cops instead of the most powerful man in the world? Oh yeah, on the 2010 Census President Obama selected “black, African American, or negro” as his ethnicity (Washington Post).

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-Dewan Gibson

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