President Obama Meets Ebola Patient, Might Be Trying To Hit

Barack Obama, Nina Pham

She’s cured now. The only thing Ebola did was help keep that hot pocket warm. And look at President Obama, just a’grinnin’ away. I bet he used one of his patented lines: “Uhh…wanna ride on Air Force One? Yeah? Wanna bounce it on it, too?” From TPM:

President Barack Obama met on Friday with Dallas nurse Nina Pham after she was declared cured of the Ebola virus. The White House announced the event in the Oval Office one hour before it was scheduled to happen, reserving a few moments before the meeting for photo-only press coverage. Pham had contracted the virus while treating an infected patient at a hospital in Dallas. She was released on Friday from the National Institutes of Health hospital in Bethesda, Maryland.

ebola.patient

-Dewan Gibson

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Possible Whooty Arrested For Stealing Deep Throat Desensitizing Spray

karlafarmer

I think I’ve see her on Byron Crawford’s Secret Searchlights or an episode of Wild Teens That Maury Wants To Smash. FromThe Smoking Gun:

This week’s most embarrassing shoplifting arrest comes from South Carolina, where police yesterday nabbed an 18-year-old woman for stealing Rock Hard erection cream, handcuffs, and Deep Throat desensitizing spray from a mall store.

Karla Farmer first swiped the cream and spray from the “love unit” of a Spencer’s store, according to a police report. After exiting the business, she returned a few minutes later to nick the handcuffs, investigators allege.

Mall security subsequently detained Farmer and handcuffed the teenager when she fought with them and tried to flee.

-Dewan Gibson

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Probably The Most Delicious Recipe Since Tossed Salad

rns-soup

If this continues I might have a career change and become a TV chef who goes on to open up sorry, overpriced restaurants in popular tourist destinations throughout the country.

It’s like 80 outside, but I made tomato chicken carcass soup for lunch. Boil a devoured whole chicken (remove gristle if serving whites or Lightskins), add water, roma tomatoes, mushrooms, avocado, and onions. Feed it to the family for five days straight.

A photo posted by @dewangibson on

-Dewan Gibson

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Grown Ass Man Teaches Drunk Clippers Fan A Lesson

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According to the fan who uploaded the video, the bro in the checkered shirt was drunk and showing off his ass crack. The cool L.A.  dad with the Simon Cowell shirt got fed up and clocked the guy in the dome a few times. (Deadspin)

-Dewan Gibson

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The Trailer Park Boys On Snoop’s GGN News

trailer-park-boys

I had never heard of the Trailer Park Boys, figured the guy in the glasses was really short bus, and don’t really dig when comedians stay in character (i.e. Colbert), but their humor goes well with Snoop’s shtick.

-Dewan Gibson

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Video: Man Jumps White House Fence, Kicks Secret Service Dog

fence.jumper

I’m thinking America will show more concern for the dog’s safety than the president’s. And that lil’ punk ass dog needs to be fired. He took a shoe to the head and ran the opposite way like Mike Vick wanted to talk to him about a new and exciting opportunity to test his physical limits.

-Dewan Gibson

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The Influence Of Ca$$ius The Wild Meerkat (et al.)

wild-meerkat2

Grandma Babysitter is on vacation so I’m home with the infant and two toddlers every day for the next two weeks or so. There’s rarely a down moment, mostly due to the middle child, Ca$$ius The Wild Meerkat (pictured above). He’s the best fighter of the group, sleep deprived, and if you even look at him wrong he’ll ride on you. So I spend a lot of my time breaking up fights and putting him in a full nelson. No A.P., though I can see the Denzel throat chop as a possibility in his teen years.

I’m also earning actual legal income by managing a Proposition 47 (reclassifies nonviolent felonies to misdemeanors so otherwise good folks don’t get booty warrior’d in prison) phone bank in the evenings and signing up folks for Obamacare, though the State seems to think I do that shit for free because they have yet to send a check. Oh yeah, I’m planning my wedding, which pretty much just includes repeating “Yeah, sounds good,” but still…

Anyhow, that’s why my blog posts have been few and far in between. (Except for Mandy Kay posts. If Mandy Kay’s ass even twitches on Instagram, Twitter, or YouTube you can expect to see it here.) But as of today I’ve vowed to do a better job of ignoring my family so I can post more often. I’m also just about done with a long-long story about the foolish cross-country road trip we took with the kids a few months ago. Hopefully one of the melanin-deficient parenting blogs will run it, though I’ll also post it here regardless.

So to the few people who read this blog, thanks. More coming soon, like today.

-Dewan Gibson

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Boxer Beats Down Referee, Gets Yoked Out The Ring

ref-fight

Ironically enough, the winner didn’t want any part of the loser. As soon as the referee took the first crushing blow the guy in blue ran off like someone just shot the place up. You figure if you just beat the punk you could at least restrain him from Worldstaring the ref. (Deadspin)

Referee getting knocked out in the European championships

A video posted by muhammad ali (@m.ali_96) on


-Dewan Gibson

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The Bowl Cut Is The White Version Of The Jheri Curl

bowl-cut2

Really similar. I’ve learned while living in sin with my whooty. Their bowl cut is our Jheri curl, just as their “supper” is our dinner.

-Dewan Gibson

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Injured Football Player Earns Salary By Talking Sh*t

darnell-dockett

Other than the whoopin’ Peyton put on the 49ers, which was a small act of revenge for January 28, 1990, this was the best moment from Sunday’s games. But back to the Broncos…as I eloquently tweeted last night, “The NFL needs to repossess one of the 49ers five Lombardi trophies and let Peyton have it for the rest of the year.” As for my Browns? We do not speak of them today.

-Dewan Gibson

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