Whoopi Goldberg’s Weed Blog

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Weed is legal in Colorado, duh, and Whoopi Goldberg is contributing to The Cannabist, a marijuana interest site ran by The Denver Post. In her first post, Whoopi writes of her vape pen the way ‘Pac wrote of his gun in “Me and My Girlfriend.” Fair comparison, I guess. From The Cannabist:

My vape pen and I maintain a mostly private relationship. Sure, I’ll sometimes show my pen to a friend or share her with a close confidant. But mostly it’s just she and I working through my pain. And her ability to help me live comfortably with glaucoma makes her one of the more important figures in my day to day.

When I show her to a friend, the reaction 99 percent of the time is: “Holy shit, where did you get this and how can I get me one?” They’re seriously that blown away by my vape pen. And they should be. She’s that amazing…

The vape pen has changed my life. No, I’m not exaggerating. In fact, her name is Sippy. Yes, she’s a she. And yes, I named her Sippy because I take tiny, little sips — sassy sips, even — from her. And with each sip comes relief — from pressure, pain, stress, discomfort. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

-Dewan Gibson

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Genius Republicans Start ‘Boats ‘N Hoes’ Political Group

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This might be the biggest Republican accomplishment since freeing the slaves. Hell, I think I’ve found a new political party. Obstructionism, unprovoked war, anti-equality, the Southern Strategy…never heard of it. Give me boats and hoes and all is forgiven.

The campaign for Wendy Davis is hitting Republican Greg Abbott, her opponent in the race for Texas governor, for his ties to a firm whose comptroller recently created a political action committee named Boats ’N Hoes PAC.

“The language used by Greg Abbott’s consultants is offensive to every Texas mother and daughter — and the men who love them — and has no place in politics,” said Davis spokeswoman, Rebecca Acuña, according to the San Antonio Express-News.

The PAC — whose name might be a possible reference to the movie “Step Brothers” — was registered earlier this month by Shaun Nowacki, the outlet reported on Wednesday. Nowacki is currently listed as a comptroller for Blakemore & Associates, which advised eight previous Abbott campaigns from 1991 to 2004, the outlet said (Politico).

-Dewan Gibson

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TGI Fridays Serves Drinks Made From Rubbing Alcohol

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Kind-of-old news (from May of 2013), but TGI Fridays and other New Jersey area bars have been caught trying to pass dirty water and rubbing alcohol off as top shelf liquor. Shady! Still, if you were trying to ball out at your local TGI Fridays the joke was already on you.

The bars, which include 13 TGI Fridays, have been accused of using cheap liquor, dirty water and rubbing alcohol instead of premium booze customers ordered, AP reports. Police confiscated 1,000 open bottles of vodka, gin, rum, scotch, whiskey and tequila from the wells of the bars, according to a statement from the New Jersey Attorney General’s Office…

The police learned of the illegal sales thanks to confidential informants, customer complaints and sample tests recovered by undercover police officers. The samples were tested using the True Spirit Authenticator — a device that can quickly analyze what’s inside an alcoholic drink. Any samples that were flagged were sent to the drink manufacturers’ labs for further testing, The Record reports (International Business Times).

-Dewan Gibson

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Debo Using His Good Eye To Check Out Women With Snoop

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What I learned: 1) Tiny Lister is not the guy from The Green Mile; 2) Therefore Tiny Lister is not dead.

-Dewan Gibson

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Young Man Socks Old Man For Better View At Easter Parade

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Apparently the young dude wanted a better view of the Easter bunny or something so he socked and bloodied the old man. If anything this video shows the importance of having kids, preferably boys. Once you turn gray and start looking like Matlock young punks get disrespectful and try to test you. You can pull out your burner, and possibly face jail time, or just say, “I’m callin’ my boys, they ‘gon f**k you up!” (The Local).

-Dewan Gibson

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Poll Shows Most Americans Don’t Believe Obama Is Black

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Come on…he’s named BARACK, plays basketball, dated white women in college, and can’t even think about getting his haircut at Best Cuts–how much blacker can he be?  Poll results below. In short, the only people that think he’s black are other black people. I wonder what the results would show if he was a “guest star” on a show like Cops instead of the most powerful man in the world? Oh yeah, on the 2010 Census President Obama selected “black, African American, or negro” as his ethnicity (Washington Post).

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-Dewan Gibson

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Man Fires 13 Shots Into Strip Club After Being Told Not To Put Hands In Underwear

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Going to a strip club is sort of like posing for a picture, you just don’t know what to do with your hands. I suppose the shooter could have thrown up his middle finger, as the insecure do in photos, but even that would have gotten him kicked out. So he went for the grand prize. Makes sense. From Raw Story:

The Gaston Gazette reported that 33-year-old Mario Chavez had been arrested early Friday after firing more than a dozen bullets into the Leather and Lace strip club…

At some point, one of the dancers accused the suspect of touching her inappropriately, and he was asked to leave. According to police, Chavez had tried reach inside one of the dancer’s underwear, and had slapped her on the hip.

“He told the bouncer that he’d done apologized to me and the bouncer told him that I’d done gave him a warning and he was going to have to leave,” the dancer, who wished to remain anonymous, told the Gaston Gazette.

That’s when Chavez allegedly walked to his truck, picked up a .40-caliber Beretta handgun and began firing at the building. Police reports said that Chavez ran out of ammunition or the gun jammed, so he went back to his truck for a 9 mm Taurus handgun, and fired at least seven more shots at the nightclub. Two more shots were reportedly fired as Chavez drove away.

None of the 18 people who were in the building at the time were injured.
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Own A Mimi-Style Hang-On-The-D Shower Rod For $10

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Twitter erupted this morning with news of a sex tape from Mimi, who I just found out is not Mariah Carey (sorry, I haven’t been black for at least two years) but a star in one of those reality shows where the actors spend the season arguing and eventually fight during the reunion episode. Due to fear of penis envy I don’t watch many instructional videos, but I did see a clip and still frame of Mimi’s work. What I and others were shocked by was her ability to hang from a shower rod while her womb is shifted. Now everybody wants a screw-in shower rod and being the public servant that I am, I took it upon myself to find a great deal on one from Amazon. Enjoy and forward me your work if you’d like to have it reviewed.

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-Dewan Gibson

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Gas Station Owner Has Message For Customers Who Sag

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I suppose the gas station’s owner could be a bit more politically correct, but he’s not expressing anything different than what The Great Fleece “Booty Warrior” Johnson said on “Lock Up” years ago. But of course fools don’t want to listen until their outhouse gets corrupted.

-Dewan Gibson

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Man Threatens Suicide From Bridge, Crowd Takes Selfies

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You do what you have to do to get likes and retweets. So much competition in these online streets. But let’s give this story a day or two to clear up, it actually might be a Samsung ad. From the LAist:

When the 105 Freeway in Paramount was closed on Thursday evening because a man was contemplating a suicide attempt on an overpass, some Angelenos who were stuck on the road thought it would be the perfect time to take selfies.

Authorities received calls around 5:30 p.m. from drivers that there was a man threatening to commit suicide on the overpass, according to the L.A. Times. The CHP shut down the 105 Freeway from both directions starting at 6:30 p.m. and reopened it at 9:30 p.m. when they managed to convince the man to not jump, reported the Press-Telegram.

(Note: You can see the man sitting on the bridge fence, to the left of the red truck)
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-Dewan Gibson

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