The Sex Tape I Don’t Want to See. Well Maybe…

By now you’ve heard the story of former North Carolina Senator John Edwards. In short: runs for president in 2008, knocks up a campaign hanger-on, repeatedly says “I’m the son of a mill worker,” has his aide/flunky claim paternity, lets it be known again that “I’m the son of a mill worker,” gets busted by the National Enquirer while hiding in a bathroom wearing a sweat drenched shirt, apologizes, breaks his pops off some cash so he retire from the mill, finally admits paternity and disappears to do good deeds in the Caribbean.

Now he’s back…with a sex tape! But unlike the other sex tapes that I watch before church on Sunday, the campaign hanger-on he’s with is about 4-5 months pregnant. That’s some freaky shit. What happened to just getting an ultrasound and saving that for the child to see years later? Well I kind of understand, I guess a sex tape is more intriguing…”Hey Junior, come look at my face all in your mom’s twat. Had my tongue so far in her I think I licked your forehead. Then I poked her real good, damn near left you blind in one eye.” Anyway, I guess it’s cool how the baby was a star before he was even born. (sorry, that’s inappropriate. shit.)

The sex tape has yet to be released, but The Daily Beast has a detailed description of the contents.

Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment

(The Imperfect Enjoyment is also available as a $0.99 download for the i-Phone, Blackberry, PC and Amazon Kindle)

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One Response to “The Sex Tape I Don’t Want to See. Well Maybe…”

  1. C.R.E.A.M. Says:
    March 15th, 2010 at 5:12 pm

    Same dude that ran for VP awhile back? Hope BO don’t come out with something like this later.

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