Underage drinking is dangerous, especially for women. After too many drinks they can easily wake up next to an unknown penis, or in this case, bite their dog and beat their mom. Analise Garner, a kind of good-looking 19 year-old in Illinois, did just that after returning home from a night of drinking.
Details are sketchy, but her mom probably said something like “Girl, yo’ ass ain’t grown! Who think you is comin’ up in this house like it’s some pay by the hour motel? Bitch you don’t pay no bills!” Then Analise probably said something back like, “Bills? I’ma give yo’ ass some bills to pay! Your insurance don’t cover no broken spleen, hoe!”
Nonetheless, their bulldog intervened in the commotion and the younger Garner bit him three times, breaking his skin. She was arrested and charged with animal cruelty, domestic battery and underage drinking. She’ll probably do the most time for animal cruelty.
Dewan Gibson: The Imperfect Blog