Doesn’t the man pictured above look so peaceful and innocent? As if he’d give free spiritual advice that is much more valuable than what you’d find in the self-help (aka bullshit) section of your local bookstore. Just look at his half-smile! The worst thing I can see this man doing is selling old cologne at a seasonal store in a suburban mall. And even that’s not so bad if your funds are low and you want to smell slightly like the cologne you find in Sephora.

But evidently the man pictured, Governor Narain Dutt Tiwari has a another side–a freaky side. Despite the fact that he’s 86 years old Tiwari made a sex tape with three young women. Apparently the Governor requested the services of the three young ladies in exchange for a mining contract for another woman’s company. But he didn’t keep his word and the tape was released. Governor Tiwari, embarrassed but probably still rock hard from the memory of his escapade, then resigned from his post for “health reasons.”

But give the brotha a break. After all, he is from the land of the Kama Sutra. And it’s not his fault that he can perform the sexual miracles of a man a quarter of his age. Damn I’m looking forward to turning 86! Check out the NY Times link for the complete story. There’s also a video below with still clips and cool ass Indian music.

Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment

see how the goatee disappears into his flesh

I knew Steve Phillips as the ESPN guy with the best goatee line-up of all time. Silver-white, without a hair out of place, his goatee easily enables him to rank among the most interesting men in the world (exit only-Dos Equis). Evidently 22 year old women also adore his goatee. To make a long story short he had an affair with a 22 year old production assistant (in the tiny pic below) who then called/wrote his wife AND rammed her car into his house after he ended the relationship. The crazy youngin’ also sent inappropriate messages to his teenage sons. Then of course his wife filed for divorce. Steve, it happens to the best of us. You still have a great job and an impeccable goatee. Maybe the wife will come around in the end. Anyway, take this induction into the Player of Shame like a man!

Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment

"Listen playa--if u saw her you'd take a secret trip too"

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford is my next inductee into the Player Hall of F(sh)ame. As someone who traveled to Denmark for trim I can sort of understand the Governor’s top secret trip to Argentina to see his mistress. But you can’t travel all that way and tell your staff that you’re going to the Appalachia area for a hiking trip! So here he is now BUSTED after concerned SC legislators wondered why the governor was missing without giving notice. Well now we know why: PUSSY WHIPPED! Like my Great Grandma always says “Whip that pussy, don’t let that pussy whip you.” Okay, actually John Witherspoon from “Friday” says that, but I know my great-grandma agrees. Kind of sucks that he’s married and was considered a front-runner for the GOP presidential nomination in 2012. BTW the pic below is not the woman he was cheating with, but actually Argentinian model Melina Pitra. I just figured I’d give Sanford the benefit of the doubt and assume his mistress looks something like her.

And since mad people are looking at this particular post I thought I’d include info about my (somewhat) new humor book entitled “The Imperfect Enjoyment.” The synopsis is below and you can order from Amazon.com. Also, check out the book excerpts at www.imperfectenjoyment.com If you think this video is funny, I guarantee at least a little tinkle of urine in your draws after reading my shit. It’s only $10 and if you’re broke like I am download it on your i-Phone for $6. NOTE TO ALL MY COLORED PEOPLE: THE BOOK IS NOT AVAILABLE UNDER ANY LAYAWAY PLAN WHATSOEVER

SYNOPSIS: When college instructor Dewan Gibson leaves the Midwest for California, he expects to find a world of breast implants, beer and beaches. Instead he enters a secret and ill-fated romance with a Middle Eastern undergraduate. In this vivid and humorous memoir, Gibson describes his attempts to overcome his forbidden love affair by jumping into an office fling gone wrong (Tijuana Mornings), traveling across the world to Denmark in hopes of meeting “Ms. Booty Mama” (Arhus Ain’t for Lovers) and musing over the interracial relationships between his African-American uncles and “rural white women that wore 1980′s big bangs and resembled Guns N’ Roses groupies” (Too Much Tupac). Toeing the line between stable adulthood and post-college debauchery, Gibson presents a comically honest look at the frailty of modern relationships. Poignant, witty and at times downright hilarious–The Imperfect Enjoyment is a story of toxic relationships and the search for a second chance at love that enlightens and amuses as very few books do.

They Have a lot to say at Show & Tell

I’m sure most of you heard that a Dallas, Texas mother recently discovered that her twin boys have two different fathers. Apparently the first man’s sperm decided to hang around her reproductive tract for a few days, at which time she had sex with another man. Soon after her ovaries got pissed off and decided to release a pair of eggs as opposed to the usually single egg. After the birth of the twins the father noticed that one baby could grow a helmet-like afro, while the other had a hairline like Jerry Rice. Confused and concerned, he asked for a paternity test and found out he was not the father of one of the boys.

The media picked up the story and since then everyone has been bagging on the mother, Mia Washington. Well I don’t agree for a couple reasons. 1) Who could have known the first guy’s sperm had enough strength and stamina to swim across the English Channel? And 2) Researchers say between 50-80 percent of men and 25-60 percent of women cheat on their partners. Chances are those who are downing Ms. Washington did the same shit she did, but were lucky enough not to get pregnant. And don’t even get all high and mighty and say “At least I used a protection when I messed around.” We all know how those first few strokes go…Yet, with that being said I could not let this ovarian abomination pass and therefore Mia Washington is the first female inductee into the Player Hall of F(sh)ame.

That's to Y'all Who Didn't Want the World Cup in Africa

Our next inductee into the Player Hall of F(sh)ame is South African President Jacob Zuma. It is unknown how many wives he’s had, but we do know one ex-wife killed herself and made sure to note in the suicide letter that President Zuma was not to attend the funeral. He also knowingly had sex with an HIV positive woman and then said he took a shower to minimize his risk of catching the disease. Still big-ups to President Zuma for being upfront with his affairs saying “There are plenty of politicians who have mistresses and children that they hide so as to pretend they’re monogamous. I prefer to be open.” That’s some player shit. Warning: DO NOT TRY TO REPLACE CONDOMS WITH AN AFTER SEX SHOWER.

UPDATE: CRISTAL TAYLOR FOUND OUT IN JAIL THAT SHE IS PREGNANT, GOD DAMN DIRK…

Look man, homegirl made my toenails curl

Cristal Taylor: Ok she has a strong jawline, but mugshots don't do anyone justice