You see the size of that donk? I bet each cheek needs its own crack just to keep her regular. Anyway, I saw a girl dancing in her room like this one time and tried to walk up in the spot; the police were called within minutes. I guess women don’t like it when you let yourself in through the window, especially if you’re wearing a Freddy Krueger mask and naked from the waist down (except for a pair of Timberland hikers). Well, Drake could probably get away with that.

Dewan Gibson: The Imperfect Blog

At this point in my life I’m more interested in exploring big butts from a sociological perspective (as opposed to a culinary). This documentary, courtesy of Vice Magazine, traces the development of a supreme donk from obscurity to national fame in Brazil. What’s most compelling and worthy of further study is: 1) The amount of upkeep this ass takes; 2) The influence that this hellafied boo-tay has on women who are blessed in a similar manner, yet lack the confidence to shake “what ya mama gave ya” and/or “bounce that ass, bounce that ass.” Feel free to add your thoughts in the comments section.

Dewan Gibson: The Imperfect Blog

There was a time, pre-girlfriend and child in development, when I’d post ass pics under the “Dewan’s Top Models” categories. Of course you can find similar (or better) pictures all over the Net. But the pics I posted got to the essence of the American ass connoisseur: shapely hips, a little cellulite to let you know it’s real, a great waist to ass ratio—in short, the girls had donks.

Obviously that time is no more. But I received this picture from a reader who happens to be a gay male. Gay as in he likes to see soap dripping down the crack of a man’s ass. He sent it to me thinking that my readers would appreciate it. I have no idea who the girl is and he doesn’t either, but she might want to invest in a rearview camera to keep (even gay) prowlers away.

Anyway, y’all enjoy this. I’m not even looking. (Note: Amber, your ass is much sweeter than this. Really. Again, I’m not even looking. Matter of fact I’m typing with my eyes closed right now.)

Dewan Gibson: Author of  The Imperfect Enjoyment

This video is for my readers that go to the strip club before AND after the nightclub, the readers who call breasts funbags, the peeps who don’t wash your hands until you can share the smell with a homeboy, guys who have their favorite porn sites bookmarked on their work computers, the homeys that text you at 3am and say “Dude, I put it in her pooter”, friends that feel relieved when they find out it’s just HPV, dudes that fast forward to all the good parts in Monster’s Ball…I haven’t forgot about you. Enjoy. Enjoy like hell you dirty bastards.

Shout out to byroncrawford.com for the video.

Dewan Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment

Well, I kind of made the “Just Hit It” thingy up. But I think Nike’s trying to communicate something along those lines. Oh yeah, nice try with the butt poem in the first picture. What a crafty move to appease feminists, while giving the rest of us some good ol’ female exploitation! Slick, corporate mutha…shut yo’ mouth! I love y’all…

Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment

The American Apparel search for the best ass in the world contest recently ended. Here are the Top 5. Be careful to avoid midday office boners. If you happen to get one you can restrain it with the lining of your boxer briefs. If you’re really a hornball you can view all 1,364 contestants by clicking here.

Dewan W. Gibson: The Imperfect Enjoyment

While searching the net for an acting role as a Somali Pirate I came across a casting call for the new Pirates of the Caribbean starring Johnny Depp, Penelope Cruz (replacing Kiera Knightley) and Shabba Ranks. Here’s the casting information. Do you notice anything interesting?

Beautiful Female Fit Models. Must be 5’7-5’8, Size 4 or 6 – NO BIGGER OR SMALLER. Age 18-25. Must have a lean dancer body. MUST have real breasts. Do not submit if you have implants. This is a show and tell of costumes with the director and the producers. Plan on an entire day of trying on clothes and being photographed.

What caught my eye was the “MUST have real breasts.” Really? In Hollywood! That immediately eliminates half of the actresses in La-La Land. Shit, if you add “MUST be cocaine free” that takes out the rest. But what’s most important about the casting call is that it’s symbolic of how the national pulse is moving away from silicone breasts. In fact, we have become an ass-based society.

My ass theory is based on anecdotal information and national trends that suggest the female ass is now more popular than titties. My friends, who come from a number of different backgrounds, are all card carrying members of the ass fraternity. Most even possess a special ability unique to certified ass connoisseurs—they can see a big ass from the front. Meaning if a woman is walking towards him he can read her hips and prepare to covertly turn his head and sneek a peek (or stare) after she passes. That’s a serious skill, man! A skill that is not innate and only developed after a confirmed fascination with the bunda.

As far as the national trends, we can start with the Latin explosion in the early 2000’s, which helped a big ass gain mainstream acceptance. Jennifer Lopez and Ricky Martin took what was once an ethnic treasure in the African American and Latino communities and transformed it into a symbol of a changing America. An America that will soon become majority colored, and more importantly full of round rumps.

The increased popularity of hip-hop is another national trend that changed America into an ass-based society. As suburban white kids starting buying the music and watching the videos, the ass reached areas of America previously untouched by a little jiggle, let alone a big butt and a smile.

Beyonce ran with this, Lady Gaga started showing her surprisingly rotund rump and Kim Kardashian took the ass standard even higher. Never could I have imagined that a big ass could get you a Carl’s Jr. hamburger commercial, a perfume line, TV show and millions of brothas just waiting on Reggie Bush to slip up.

I never thought I would see this day. Sir Mix-A-Lot and a host of other ass pioneers like my father Kenneth Gibson Sr. had a dream. We can proudly say we have reached the Promised Land. Go ahead and let it shake. Even if it has stretch marks and a little cellulite, your time is now. The Obama age is here. The ass age is here.

Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment

There’s no rhyme, reason or meaning to this post. I was reading something in the New York Observer about Dame Dash’s artist enclave for hipsters and hip-hoppers and the name Dash stuck in my head. So I thought “Humm…Dame Dash, big time record producer/man about town, but more importantly Stacey Dash’s cousin.” I then thought “I wonder what Stacey is up to. Haven’t heard much from her since SHE POSED FOR THE BEST MAGAZINE COVER IN THE HISTORY OF MAGAZINES!”

So here you are. Pics of Stacy as a very youthful 42 year old. Sometime it’s just good to see a nice ass and an overall swell lady on an otherwise uneventful Monday. The pic below is one that she emailed me, but I was in a relationship at the time and didn’t want to get in a situation that would require me to issue a 20 minute public apology based on a five minute speech that ends with a much too aggressive hug from Mama. Shit!

Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment

(Like this post? Have a look at the rest of the blog: www.imperfectenjoyment.com)

I admire PETA’s passion, but sometimes they go a bit overboard. They fronted on R&B singer Kelis for wearing fur, she struck back with a hilarious yet common sense letter, and then they publicly called her a gold digger. Though I’m ultra liberal on a lot of issues, I’m a bit more moderate when it comes to the killing of animals. Without going to a lengthy discussion of my ill-formed policy I summarize it as: use what you need, but don’t go overboard. Obviously we haven’t yet show the propensity to do this, but I’d like to see some sort of happy medium between PETA and the fat ass who eats a cow a week at Mc’Donald’s. On another somewhat related note I saw Denzel “Black Jesus” Washington kill a cat in the Book of Eli and then read about the uproar from intellectual elites who were appalled that such a scene could be shown in a movie in which DENZEL’S CHARACTER IS LIVING OFF THE LAND AFTER A NEAR APOCALYPSE!

Anyway, back to my original reason for even bringing up PETA. They released an ad encouraging feline birth control featuring actress/porn star Sasha Grey whom I profiled in an earlier blog post. So after all that mouthing off I finally get to the point: Sasha Grey, the Lebron James of the porn industry, is in a new PETA ad. Damn, can’t believe that took so long. Enjoy the pic of Sasha above and check out my earlier post for a video of her on Tyra. Check out Redtube.com if you want to see her at work. Hold on, you know what…now that I’m looking at these PETA provoked pictures I’d have to say f**k Redtube and all that crazy ass porn, the picture below of Kelis is off the chain! Damn I sound like a perv, but it’s 1am on a Friday night and I’m sitting on the couch blogging/watching a paid program selling Dean Martin DVDs.

Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment

Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment

Back in the mid to late 90′s Rachel “The Great” Stuart was host of the BET show that no one watched for the videos entitled Caribbean Rhythms. She was “all that and a bag of chips” as we said at that time. In fact, along with Apollonia and Vanity she was the cause of many prepubescent boners. Although I have since overcome the light skin-itis, Rachel will always be memorable. Especially since I even had a chance to speak with her on the phone courtesy of Tavis “Change Black America and Get Rich” Smiley. To make a long story short, my frat brought Tavis down to my uni to speak. While we were escorting him from the airport I professed my youthful lust for Rachel. He called her up, I told her she was beautiful, she laughed at me and then I gave the phone back to Tavis. Damn, I have game! LOL. Nah fuck that, I’m SMH with a slight grin.

Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment

Great Ass to Waist Ratio

A society only goes as far as its women. Thus in addition to fair elections and the ouster of a certain tiny and tie-less president the Iranian people should ensure women have equal standing in society. Equal access to education, jobs and of course the ability to play soccer while wearing only body paint if they so choose. All that sweet ass throughout the Middle East and some tiny dick clerics demand that women cover up. Though I have little scientific evidence I’m willing to bet a $25 Target gift card (won it for doing a survey) that there is an inverse relationship between public displays of T&A and war. So in an effort to at least calm the situation down in Iran just a bit, I present to Iranian body paint girl that loves balls. Shit I’m sure if President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad saw this woman he’d come out that old ass Members Only jacket in a second. Peace to everyone in Iran, justice is on its way!

Dewan Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment

The first entry into Dewan’s Top Models is Kiko from San Diego:

Do you have any pet peeves when it comes to men?

Yes!! My biggest pet peeve when it comes to men is…when men disrespect the hell out of women and see nothing wrong with it, but when the table turns and it is their sister or a female close to them that is being disrespected, they want to raise hell.

What can a broke ass man do for you?

A broke ass man can’t do anything for me. I’ve dated a broke ass before and, literally, he couldn’t do anything for me. I actually spent money on him. I don’t have a problem spending money when the action is being reciprocated. However, it wasn’t- which was the biggest turn off ever!

Toes, hair, or outfit…you can only get one of the three done. Which do you choose and why?

I would choose the outfit because my toes are cute whether they are done or not, but if my feet were busted, I could always go with a closed-toe heel; heels fall under the outfit category right? Hair wouldn’t be an issue for me because I would leave it down, flowing and every now and then run my hand through it to give it some volume. So give me a cute outfit and I am set.

Who’s the hottest superstar/accused criminal, Kobe Bryant or Chris Brown?

I would have go to with Chris Brown. He beat the brakes off Rihanna, can’t say he doesn’t have passion.

Would you keep talking to a guy who wears a chopper suit to the club?

I most likely wouldn’t. I don’t usually talk to guys that I meet at the club; I work at clubs, not a good look. Chances are I am not the only one he was interested in that night and if he was wearing a chopper suit he probably had some wack ass tired line to go along with it. Not attractive.