INTERVENTION: Why the NBA Must Have a Kobe –vs– Lebron Matchup
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Humor
The NBA dream championship between the Lakers and Cavs might end up being exactly that, a big unfulfilled dream. If you’re a big b-ball fan like me you probably want to see the Kobe-Lebron matchup, by any means necessary. So since its 2:40am and I can’t sleep I’ve decided to give NBA Commissioner David Stern five reasons why he should intervene and make sure the Cavs and Lakers face each other in the 2009 NBA Finals.
1) Denver Nuggets? The phrase “Chauncey and Carmelo” sounds like the title of a gay porn. How in the hell is the NBA gonna market that?
2) I figure if Cavs guard Delonte West has to visit Los Angeles three times he can finally take care of that oral herpes. That shit is like the common cold in LA. They’ll treat that in a second. (Remember, I’m just kidding. Let’s set the record straight. That is a BIRTHMARK on his lower lip).
Okay Ladies, Just Kiss Him on the Cheek
3) Orlando Magic? Isn’t Dwight Howard just Shaquille O’Neal without the lazy eye? Anyone who wouldn’t even make the church league if they were six inches shorter shouldn’t be in the NBA Finals. Negro shoots free throws like he’s mad at the hoop!
4) Lebron James might leave the city that has the most black barbershops per capita in the United States for a larger market when he becomes a free agent next summer. After this happens he will never be the same player. Not because his skills will erode, but simply because Cleveland fans don’t play that shit. We gave him a pass for wearing that Yankees hat to the Indians game, but let his overgrown ass try to leave for another team. Once those Woodland boys get at him and then the West Side Puerto Ricans follow-up, he’s done. You will never ever have a chance to see Lebron –vs– Kobe again! (Okay if you’re not from Cleveland you have no idea what I’m talking about…)
5) If Kobe goes home early he’ll have too much time on his hands and…he might start rapping again. And based on the performance below that is a danger to us all.
GO CAVS!
2 Responses to “INTERVENTION: Why the NBA Must Have a Kobe –vs– Lebron Matchup”
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Azure Darby Says:
May 22nd, 2009 at 3:35 pmOkay, I laughed out loud at the Woodland boys and westside Puerto Ricans comment.
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Dewan Gibson Says:
May 22nd, 2009 at 4:28 pmYeah u gotta watch it on the East side! And just when u think it’s safe on the West side…bamm!!!
