Nas Pays 51k a Month in Child Support! That’s Some Expensive Milkshake
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Arts, Humor
Besides an earlier post about Cher’s daughter getting a sex change to look like John Goodman from Roseanne that became my most viewed post ever, I don’t really get too involved in celebrity gossip. I understand that there are readers who salivate over that stuff, but I view the genre as over-saturated and in a way, feminine (mind you, this is coming for a guy who wears skinny jeans five days a week and told his girlfriend he’s going to get his “skin done once I stack my paper”).
But the news that broke about Nas having to pay Kelis $51,000 A MONTH in child support for their newborn son struck a nerve. Obviously there’s not a child in this world that costs 51k a month to raise, but let’s think about that number again. Fifty-one thousand dollars!
During my best working YEAR ever I brought home around 50k after taxes. This enabled me to sport a white Miami Vice blazer to the club every weekend (yes I literally mean every weekend), buy a poor man’s Porsche aka a Chrysler Crossfire, take an assortment of whores and classy women out on the town (sorry I meant to say sexually liberated females–damn double standard), spend money on stupid shit like a classic Prince album cover, give a $10 tip for a post-massage happy ending in Tijuana, take a trip to Denmark to see a whooty I met online, eat at fancy restaurants with short menus and gay waiters, actually buy candy at the movie theater, purchase the softest Charmin toilet tissue that makes you look forward to wiping your ass and FINALLY buy supposed “hot stocks” and lose all my money during last year’s market crash.
I understand that Kelis is saying her ability to work is compromised since she has to raise a child “alone.” But shit, she’s a singer. I don’t know…maybe write a song about that little negro who’s earning you 51k a month. I know women that are raising TWO bebe kids (remember that movie lol-shout to Robin Harris) with little to no help and are still able to hold down a job and make a little money to drink away their sorrows in shady bars on the weekends.
Well, whatever. I guess it’s none of my business anyway, but what would you do with 51k a month? Damn…I hope Tiger’s wife is paying attention.
BTW that’s a picture of Lil’ Scrappy above, aka Nas’ twin. You can find the real Nas in the “Hate Me Now” video. Escobar season has returned!
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
6 Responses to “Nas Pays 51k a Month in Child Support! That’s Some Expensive Milkshake”
-
Allana Lake Says:
December 12th, 2009 at 6:17 pmWit 51 a month Id hang out with the rich people, marry and have a child with a rich nucca, then divorce him a couple years later. Mo’ Money, Mo’ Money, Mo’ Money! lol
-
ndygo sunshyne Says:
December 13th, 2009 at 7:01 pmWho knew you could ball til you fall on 50K (for the year)?! The list of things you did w/your “riches” is classic. & I hope it was all worth it. As my boy says, hindsight is 10/10.
But me, on that type of money monthly:
1) write books & not give a shit if anyone read them.
2) start my program for children
3) actually put a poor man’s porsche in my driveway (i happen to think the crossfire is hot)
4) get a place w/a driveway
6) build my villa in cuba & the 1 somewhere in west africa
7) buy rental property & make rent skyhigh in trendy neighborhoods & charge young white people ridiculous $$ just to say they live there
8) adopt some children
9) hire somebody else to make this list for me -
Robin Young Says:
December 13th, 2009 at 11:52 pmI’d go back to the Motherland–Black President or not this ain’t the place for us.
-
None-ya Says:
December 15th, 2009 at 1:02 pmKelis didn’t do a damn thing to earn that money. These century old laws continue to put men in financial ruin time after time. My advice to me with any significant amount of savings or income is to NEVER MARRY.
-
Othaniel Says:
December 16th, 2009 at 9:24 amLMAO !!!! So funny – forwarded to some of my friends
-
Dewan W. Gibson Says:
December 16th, 2009 at 2:34 pmThank ya much! My book is even better (sorry for the shameless self-promo, but it is).
