Meeche Packs, Son!
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Arts
First things first: The synching in the video is a little off, kind of like a 70′s karate movie I saw called Poon Hound Kim, but the music is damn good. Though I’m more of a Wu-Tang head when it comes to hip-hop (who else can rap about religion, science, the streets AND sex so effortlessly?) I do get into traditional braggadocious hip-hop at times. For example, if I’m fixin’ to ride on somebody for telling me I look like Tevin Campbell while I’m using a public urinal or feel like showing off my 2004 Chrysler Crossfire in San Diego’s upper-middle class suburbs, I need to hear something like this that’ll get me in the right mind state.
Check out Meeche Packs’s video and be sure to have a look at his Youtube channel. As Master P used to say “That boy is tight behind that mic.” My favorite line in this song is “Broke niggas like Simba/They always Lion Kings.” Get it? That’s a Drake/Yeezy type line! Dude can really spit, as the cool kids say. Anyway, support these young bucks from Cleveland, especially those skinny niggas in the back, before they try to steal liquor from my daddy’s bar and sell it half-price on the corner of Cedar and Lee. Shout out to Meeche Packs!
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
You Just Gonna Keep On Lying, Huh?
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Arts, Humor, Social Comm
Whether correctional officer or porn fluffer, I don’t have a problem with anyone earning an honest living. But when you do a William Roberts (Rick Ross) and deny your past to portray an image as a international cocaine dealer, that’s wack. You’re leading kids down the wrong path, man. We should encourage our children to do things like write slightly explicit books about love, lust and sex–not become drug dealers.
Look, here’s what Ross SHOULD HAVE said in response to the C.O. controversy: “Yeah, I was a C.O. I was earning a living to feed my family. Look man, this rap shit is fake. None of us are real gangsters or dopeboys. It’s all entertainment.” Instead Ross insinuated that he was dealing drugs from INSIDE the prison when he worked as a correctional officer. Come on, man! Oh yeah, give the real Rick Ross is name back. You’re William Roberts–overweight street poet and entertainer. Love yourself, nigga.
Anyway, the video below is a promotional mini-film for Ross’s new Teflon Don album. Check it out for the unintentional laughs, sort of like Master P’s Bout It in the late 90s. This man has Pakistanis actors pretending to be Cubans. You’re telling that even though you’re from Miami you couldn’t find a proper Cuban to play a fake ass Tony Montana? And pay close attention to the scene at 2:55. Woman gets shot but no blood, no hole. That hoe’s indestructable!
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
Furious Styles Deserves Better!
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Arts, Humor
Chris Rock said a father’s most important responsibility is to make sure his daughter doesn’t wind up on the pole—the stripper pole. So, Laurence Fishburne…you know you done fucked up, right? Big time.
Laurence Fishburne’s daughter Montana aka “Chippy D” is set to star in a new porno film. Apparently Chippy D wants to follow in Kim Kardashian’s footsteps and use a good ol’ fashioned cooch beating as a segue to a career in mainstream entertainment.
Come on Montana, how the hell you gonna do that to Furious Styles? After all that knowledge he dropped to them boys in Compton. Even worse, how the fuck you gonna do that to Jimmy Jump? The man is goon affiliated—right hand man to Frank White. Mess around and your kneecaps broke, get your goddamn skull cracked for shaming your father like that. Man, these floosies are crazy now…
I really feel bad for Laurence, but maybe this would not have happened if he had kept going by Larry. Larry sounds more like a name of a father that doesn’t play that shit. Laurence sounds like someone who’s oblivious and busy perfecting his craft, while his daughter yearns for attention and eventually gets it from a dude with calf implants, waxed pubes and a giant cock vein.
I can kind of understand a young girl getting caught up with an older, manipulative man and making a HOME movie. Or even getting involved with R. Kelly and making an instructional video in his wood-paneled basement, but to intentionally make a porn in hopes of being the next Kim Kardashian….ewww.
Damn Laurence, you really done fucked up.
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
“Run”–Great Pre-Crime Motivation
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Arts
“Run” by Ghostface Killah and Jadakiss is my second favorite song—ever, slightly behind “Rock With You” by the King of Pop and Hair Products. Though I’ve never been chased by the FBI or any of the other alphabet boys, I can relate to being “chased” by an inner voice that demands I do something great before I die. It bugs me everyday and often ruins my sleep; it seems to have me on some sort of mental run. Sadly, the peculiar muthafucka never says exactly what I should be doing.
Anyway, if you are often chased by the police you should strongly consider using this song as a form of pre-crime motivation. Better yet do like Jeezy says and hide the dope in your Aunty’s house. For those who tend to avoid The Law, just enjoy the passionate lyrics from two of hip-hop’s greatest.
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
I Want To Thank Ron Artest…F LeBron Party?
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Arts, Humor
I have no idea if this is real. I simply found it on the Facebook profile of a friend named “Ron Artesticles.” I’m serious. But I figure Facebook information is at least as reliable as Fox “News.”
First the LeBron goes south/Gloria goes west t-shirt and now this from Queensbridge’s own. By the way, no matter how you feel about LeBron be careful talking about his mama. He’s a big guy and you probably wouldn’t say it to his face. Remember the song “Mind Playing Tricks On Me” when Bushwick Bill rapped “He stood about six or seven feet/That’s the nigga I be seeing in my sleep”? He was talking about LeBron. Bron-Bron will beat that ass. Anyway, let Gloria and Delonte live—shit, ain’t nothin’ like black love.
With all that said, I really like to check out that party this weekend.
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
Even White Boys Got To Shout?
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Arts, Humor
I’m not sure if any of the women featured in this video would pass my toilet seat test, but you have to respect Brad Paisley for creating a white man’s ode to nice, round ass. It’s not exactly “Baby Got Back,” “Back That Ass Up,” “Get It From Her Mama,” “Face Down, Ass Up,” “Whooty” or “Sit On My Face 2010″ but considering the genre…it’s a step in the right direction. The video is over two years old, but chances are if you’re reading this blog you have not seen nor heard of “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk.” Enjoy, but keep in mind “Badonkadonk” is now a loosely used term.
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
The Prince Look
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Arts, Humor
If you missed the 2010 BET Awards, this is the look Prince gave Trey Songz when he tried to sing Purple Rain. The look is a sort of androgynous mix between “Nigga please!” and “Girl…oh no you didn’t.” Nevertheless, I’d say it was very effective.
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
New Wonder Woman: Baby D Approved
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Arts
As a former lonesome and “mute” child it seems I’d have an interest in comic books. But I never felt a connection with any of the characters. Perhaps if Stan Lee created a thin, long-head half man/half machine character with a severe stutter that throat chops and emasculates bullies from the Severe Behavior Handicap class I would have gained an interest. But he didn’t. So I spent a fair amount of my childhood reading Mom’s Glamour and Cosmopolitan magazines (I learned the word vulva early on).
But this new Wonder Woman is dope. She looks like a hip bartender sans tatted forearms, an Urban Outfitters employee with just a touch of superhero glam, that weird girl from middle school who ended up being sexy as hell—but still weird.
Gone are the corny stars and stripes (sorry to those who believe in American exceptionalism) and cooch grabbing short-shorts that cause adult diaper rash if the wearer engages in strenuous physical activity, like defeating bad guys. What we’re left with is a practical, yet bad ass woman for the Obama era. I can dig it.
You can find the new Wonder Woman in the Wonder Woman #600 issue, released on June 30.
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
Telegraph The MC: Beautiful Hypocrisy
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Arts
I remember Julian “Telegraph” Duhe from San Diego State University. He rocked a Jake Shuttlesworth fro and ran with a crew of creatives from the Bay. I rocked a Bryant Gumbel and ran with a dude from the Carribean who later came out as a Bhatti Boy, but it’s all good.
Years later, thanks to our noctivagant ways and mutual appreciation for thick women with small waists (40 inch hips, 26 inch waist—sit on my face!), we ran into each other on the bar scene. I learned that he was a MC and decided to check out his work.
But let me explain something… when someone says “MC” I take that seriously. If you write nursery rhymes and invent cute dances for little girls with dooki braids and boys with temporary tattoos you are NOT a MC—you’re a rapper, and that’s OK.
I subscribe to RZA’s viewpoint on MC’ing, namely what he said on 1997’s Wu-Tang Forever CD: To all you niggaz who think you going to become an MC overnight…You know what I’m saying? You better snap out that fucking dream, man. It takes years for this. You Cat in the Hat ass rappers, You Dr. Seuss, Mother Goose, simple minded…(Stop running up on niggaz with all that wack shit), Word up man (I’m talking about you MC’s) You ain’t no MC, Niggaz ain’t made for this…
Damn RZA, that sounds harsh. Anyway, with RZA’s declaration in mind I listened to Telegraph The MC’s mixtape, Beautiful Hypocrisy. I found it witty and reflective of Telegraph’s Oakland upbringing AND obtainment of a W.E.B. Dubois type dream of higher education for young black males. In short, he is a MC.
Telegraph and I sat down to discuss his new mixtape and views on hip-hop. Well, actually we didn’t sit down. We sent the questions/answers over Facebook because Wal-Mart STILL has not put their Flip cams on sale, leaving me camera-less and unable to tape an interview. I’d like to think the ladies are disappointed at missing the opportunity to see a discussion between two highly educated brothas with good hair, but I could be wrong.
You can download Beautiful Hypocrisy HERE, be sure to check out the interview on the next page.
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
For The Ladies…What Kind of Ladies You Roll With?
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Arts, Humor
Sometimes I read things that make me SMH and say “negro please” in a Morgan Freeman voice. Ex: Fat Joe talking about a song from his new album, The Darkside, which comes out later this summer: “I got a song for the chicks with Too Short on the album. It’s called ‘Money Over Bitches’. It’s like a love song.” NOT the type of love I’m looking for.
With that being said, enjoy my favorite Fat Ass Joe video, “We Thuggin’” featuring The R. Makes you wanna do the Harlem Shake, 10 years later!
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
Prince: All That Freakiness Keeps Him Young
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Arts, Humor
Check out Prince on July’s Ebony. Chest hair all fluffy, looking like he just made you do some new things–some dirty things. And you liked it too. Felt like a woman, huh? Even had two holes, bet you didn’t know one was his belly button. It sits low.
Nah man…don’t feel bad. I agree, he looks like Jasmine Guy from “A Different World.” Just has a bit more hair above his lip. I know, I know…you’re not gay. You just got Princed.
By the way, will Prince ever age? The album cover below is from his self-titled release in 1979. Yep, 31 years ago.
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
Porn For The Blind?
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Arts
If you ask me, pornographic audio is more than enough than enough to get one’s rocks off. I don’t mean the “bum chicky bum bum” music, but the actual moans, groans and “Harder Dewan! Yeah, Yeah! You like this white ass, huh? Come on nig…sorry. Don’t stop! Don’t stop!”
But I guess audio that only is not as enjoyable if you have never actual seen people doing the nasty. And that’s why we now have porn books for the blind.
Lisa J. Murphy, author of Tactile Mind, has created a book of clay and metal molded over risque images (naked women, naked male robots…huh? Yeah, that’s exactly what I said).
The book costs $225 and can be purchased here. Uhmmm…like my broke ass blog readers are gonna pay $225 for a book when you wouldn’t pay $10 for mine. A damn shame…but no love lost.
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
Bron-Bron Performing w/Drake
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Arts
NBA Finals? Man, I gotta concert to do with Drake! Check out the largest hypeman hip-hop has seen since Shaq stopped lollygagging with the Fu-Schnickens.
By the way, we are all witnesses. No matter what they say he is staying in Cleveland–with or without Mama Gloria and Delonte West.
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
Damn, 50 Cent Dropped About 100 Pounds
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Arts
Talk about dedication! Curtis “Milkdud” Jackson aka 50 Cent, lost a helluva lot of weight for a new film role. The alien look is SO fashion forward. Oh yeah, check out my post about the time 50 Cent tried to charge me $60 for his Power cologne made from Johnson’s Baby Powder and rubbing alcohol.
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
Get Out The Car & Shake Some Ass!
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Arts, Humor
Cleveland, Ohio. 1996. I was pushing a 1987 Plymouth Horizon. Red on red, man. When at a red light I had to keep one foot on the brake and the other foot on the gas, just so the summa bitch wouldn’t cut off. I was never able to do anything like Cam’Ron does in the video below. But I did drop off a female friend at work one time. Surprisingly, she thanked me by rubbing my previously untouched pole. Confetti party in the parking lot. Confetti party in my pants. Yep, that happened. And I’m damn proud.
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
Creed Bratton: Fountain of Inspiration?
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Arts
If you’re a fan of The Office you know Creed Bratton. He’s the quirky, Hannibal Lecter looking character that makes up the weirdest drug induced stories about his past. It turns out that the actor who plays Creed Bratton is named Creed Bratton and the character is based on his past life as a drug using folk singer.
But here’s what’s interesting about the real Creed Bratton: His 60′s band was somewhat successful but eventually flamed out, he spends the next 30 years working as a waiter and occasional actor, lands on hard times and ends up homeless. He gets a gig as an extra on Bernie Mac and is then cast in a nonspeaking role in The Office. The Office script calls for him to be fired, but then Jesus, Allah and Yahweh come together and decide to hook him up with a permanent role with the Dundler Mifflin crew. And that’s all I’m telling you. Read the entire story from Rolling Stone.
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
Theophilus London: Life Of A Lover
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Arts
I couldn’t have picked a better time to find a new artist that I dig. Here’s the gist of what’s going on: funds have yet to recover from my six month “vacation,” I’m in a mad-crazy cooch drought, my transmission is about to fall out my cherished 2004 Chrysler Crossfire–which means I’m fixin’ to be a grown ass black man riding a moped. Damn!
But as corny as it might sound listening to Theophilus London took me away for a minute or two. Actually the moment I found him on the net I got some good news: The Source might be featuring my book in the coming months.
Enough about me. So what does Theophilus sound like? Hummm…perhaps a bit oh A Tribe Called Quest with a sprinkling of Kid Cudi. Put it like this, listening to his music will make you feel as you did when you and your girl (or boy) first started spending the night together. You know, those Saturday mornings when all you did was lay in the bed, swak and make jokes. Pretty much those Saturdays during the first 6-8 months of your relationship, before you got tired of her monkey ass.
Check out his “Life Of A Lover” video below. Theophilus’ mixtape drops tomorrow and you can find it on most of the hip-hop sites, and I assume he’ll post the download on his blog. BTW that pic is of him and one his artistic partners in crime, Va$htie. That’s a real woman right there.
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Arts I never saw Jordan play in-person and couldn’t afford a Michael Jackson concert. But I will not miss the opportunity to see the greatest actor of our time live on Broadway–Denzel “Had Swag Before It Was Called Swag” Washington. Denzel and Viola Davis star in the August Wilson classic Fences, about a 50 something former Negro League player adjusting to life after baseball in 1950′s America. The play runs from late April to mid-July. Tics are from $150 to $300 so I damn sure won’t be paying for my date. And if you have a problem with that I’ll throat chop that ass like Denzel did in Training Day, He Got Game and a few other films I can’t think of because I’m watching Malcolm X right this second. Fast forward to 1:15 on the video below to see the throat chop I’m talking about. I can’t wait!
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Arts, Humor As I stayed up late in the a.m. sculpting my body into a work of shiny African art, I thought to myself how can I best describe The Baby D Experience. I knew that R. Kelly really reached the essence of The Baby D Experience through his video for “Half On A Baby,” but I had yet to put it into a specific example and brief description of my own. So I thought of my times hanging out on the San Diego coastline. Here it is: I rarely go to the beach. But when I do I like to listen to Bobby Brown’s “Tenderoni” and give myself a facial with sand and sea water. I then walk around and give unsolicited massages to women who might have an interest in me, but just don’t know it until they see my boyish nipples and manly chest hair. When the massage is complete I say “That was the Baby D experience.” She’s shivers with lust but I walk away backwards, as she stares in my hypersexual eyes. I am never to be seen again. But The Experience is never forgotten. As soon as I get my car paid off (and fixed) The Baby D Experience will be coming to a town near you. Thanks for your support of my book and blog. You too, will never be forgotten. Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Arts Mama would wear her leopard print top, Dad would wear his Miami Vice suit with the sleeves rolled up (us kids would stay home and fight each other) and three hours later they’d return home just a-smilin’! Why? Because they had experience of going to an African American themed play. Don’t you do dare say chitlin circuit! I rebuke thee for saying chitlin circuit! This is art, not a plate of pig intestines! Now the black theater experience, which is often confined to the Midwest and South, has reach the West Coast. Ayasha Tripp’s Don’t Even Tripp Productions is set to premiere …and an Angel Came Down on April 23-24 at the Lesher Center for the Arts in Walnut Creek, California (It’s in the Bay Area.Watch the play, get your thizz face ready for the after party). …and an Angel Came Down tells the story of young man dealing with the murder of his younger sister. Although he claims he is at peace and has found spiritual healing through God, he is actually dealing with his pain through an addiction to painkillers and masking his troubles through other people. The play addresses issues such as the prostitution ring in Oakland, domestic violence, and the struggles associated with forgiveness. Can I get a witness? Be sure to see …and an Angel Came Down if you’re in the Bay Area and check their website for future updates. Oh yeah, half of the proceeds from the play go to a local youth organization. Chuuch! Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Arts I awoke at 10am and didn’t say a word to another human until well after 3pm. I spent an hour flâneuring around Wal-Mart, bought two cans of mushrooms and flirted with the cashier. I made a big ass pot roast but had no one to share it with. I rented a movie and cuddled with two bad bitches. One bitch being a spit stained pillow and the other being a pilled wool blanket. I read half of Walter Mosley’s new novel, completely uninterrupted. I watched clips on Redtube and did not erase my browsing history. I strolled downtown and smiled at the possibilities, the hostesses. My cell phone proudly vibrated—without fear of retribution. I was not asked where I was going. I was not asked when I will return. I was not interrogated. I’ll think I’ll ride this out for awhile… Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Arts I came across this picture on The Sartorialist Blog. Unfortunately the user who submitted the image did not include background information about the debonair guys in the picture. However, we can conclude the black people have a long history of not smiling when photographed. Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Arts Interesting story about Ol’ Dirty Bastard courtesy of Michael Agger and The New Yorker that revolves around a New York City resident who shares Dirty’s birth name of Russell Jones. The “wrong” Russell Jones received a number of calls from people looking for Dirty, including Method Man. Keep in mind this was prior to the days extended cell phone and internet penetration. Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment Russell Jones is a forty-four-year-old art director who lives in Park Slope, Brooklyn. In the early winter of 1996, he and his wife began to receive some unusual phone calls late at night. They would pick up the receiver and a voice would shout “Yo, Dirty!” or just “Dirteee!” and then hang up. Jones was mystified; he thought that maybe his number had been written down in a bathroom stall somewhere. A few weeks later, Jones’s young cousin, who was conversant in hip-hop, stopped by. “You know that rapper Ol’ Dirty Bastard?” “Uh, not really.” “His real name is Russell Jones. That’s why you get those calls.” “No way. It can’t be.” It was. Russell Jones, a.k.a. Ol’ Dirty Bastard, had just left the group Wu-Tang Clan and had a hit song called “Brooklyn Zoo.” He called himself Ol’ Dirty Bastard because “there ain’t no father to his style”—a distinctive combination of song and rap. Something of a folk hero, O.D.B. would occasionally return to his old Brooklyn neighborhood, East New York, and hand out money on the streets. He also got into a lot of trouble—an assault charge, a bullet in the stomach. His fans would dial information and ask for the number of Russell Jones in Brooklyn. They’d get the wrong Russell Jones, the one who describes himself as “meek” and “white.” The conversations often unfolded this way: “Yo, Ol’ Dirty?” “No, this is not Ol’ Dirty, but you have reached Russell Jones.” “Oh, are you going to see him later?” The callers always assumed that Jones would somehow run into O.D.B., even after he said he couldn’t rap. Most refused to believe him. “Where you at? I’m gonna come over and hang out with you,” they’d say. “Trust me, you’ll be very disappointed when you see me,” Jones would reply. He thought about getting an unlisted number, but, as a freelance illustrator, he needed to be in the book. If he hung up on the callers, they just called back. Eventually, he decided to enjoy the fruits of mistaken identity. There were the drunken admirers from Denmark and the little girl who wanted to do a school report about O.D.B. and his accomplishments. The most frequent calls were from young women who expressed a desire to break into the music business. Like a bad French movie, Jones’s life began to intersect with O.D.B.’s in other ways. He learned that O.D.B.’s mother lived on a nearby street, and that he and O.D.B. belonged to the same video store. Jones really didn’t mind the notoriety of being paired with the self-destructive rapper. After all, he was much better off than his brother Tom Jones. “His life in the seventies was a living hell.” CLICK HERE TO READ THE REST, or check out Dirty’s song with Snoop below. Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Arts, Dewan's Top Models The American Apparel search for the best ass in the world contest recently ended. Here are the Top 5. Be careful to avoid midday office boners. If you happen to get one you can restrain it with the lining of your boxer briefs. If you’re really a hornball you can view all 1,364 contestants by clicking here. Dewan W. Gibson: The Imperfect Enjoyment Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Arts What’s going with R&B? Bird chest singers talking about “I invented sex” and trying to dog the King of R&B, while emulating the King’s work. Said King is stuck in a rut and has his old ass out there still talking about the club. And 90 percent of the other R&B singers are trying to emulate the emulator. Shit! But now we have someone who sounds a bit different: Miguel. I have no idea who this guy is, but I came across his song “All I Want Is You” featuring J. Cole. Cool beat, nice voice and no bragging about previous employment as an inventor of the process that includes the joining of reproductive organs and/or other bodily orifices. BTW since I couldn’t find a picture of Miguel, I decided to post a pic of Vida Guerra. Why? Cus that’s how I roll. One more thing: I hear the new Raheem Devaughn is outstanding. Perhaps even comparable to Marvin Gaye, in that he sings of love and social issues. I’ll pick that one up within the next couple of weeks. Until then, check out Miguel’s song.
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment 
I Will NOT Miss Denzel
The Baby D Experience
…and an Angel Came Down
I Don’t Have One + New Lil’ Wayne Video
Say Cheese, Or Not…
Not Dirty: Courtesy of The New Yorker
American Apparel Best Ass Contest
Never Thought I’d Like A New R&B Song: Miguel f/J. Cole
