Grandma Said “Don’t Be Lickin’ Used Condoms!”
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Social Comm
Fox “News” does a good job of reaching its target demographic—angry white men who have brought penis envy into politics. I don’t support the station but I will check its website on occasion (along with Drudge Report), just to see what The Man is up to. And The Man is always up to something.
But today’s news was a little different. Of course it had the usual Obama bashing and fear-mongering biased stories, but it also had a very unique alarmist story in its Children’s Health section titled, “Boy Blistered After Licking Used Condom, Grandma Says.”
Click the title to read the entire story. I guess it serves as fair warning to all you hockey loving grizzly moms and grandmas living up north right next to Russia. Watch out for Mooslims, insurance company death panels and used condoms in hotel rooms.
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
You Just Gonna Keep On Lying, Huh?
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Arts, Humor, Social Comm
Whether correctional officer or porn fluffer, I don’t have a problem with anyone earning an honest living. But when you do a William Roberts (Rick Ross) and deny your past to portray an image as a international cocaine dealer, that’s wack. You’re leading kids down the wrong path, man. We should encourage our children to do things like write slightly explicit books about love, lust and sex–not become drug dealers.
Look, here’s what Ross SHOULD HAVE said in response to the C.O. controversy: “Yeah, I was a C.O. I was earning a living to feed my family. Look man, this rap shit is fake. None of us are real gangsters or dopeboys. It’s all entertainment.” Instead Ross insinuated that he was dealing drugs from INSIDE the prison when he worked as a correctional officer. Come on, man! Oh yeah, give the real Rick Ross is name back. You’re William Roberts–overweight street poet and entertainer. Love yourself, nigga.
Anyway, the video below is a promotional mini-film for Ross’s new Teflon Don album. Check it out for the unintentional laughs, sort of like Master P’s Bout It in the late 90s. This man has Pakistanis actors pretending to be Cubans. You’re telling that even though you’re from Miami you couldn’t find a proper Cuban to play a fake ass Tony Montana? And pay close attention to the scene at 2:55. Woman gets shot but no blood, no hole. That hoe’s indestructable!
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
Really Don’t Want To Call You A TEAbagger, But…
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Social Comm
A little less than a year ago I wrote of my experience at a TEA Party rally in Oceanside, Cali. The post alluded to TEA Party Express (“express” meaning they can spread hate faster than other TEA Party groups) leader Mark Williams calling President Obama an “Indonesian Muslim turned welfare thug.” Punk ass Mark Williams then left a comment on the post calling me a “ward of the state,” presumably because I taught at a state university.
I responded but quickly forgot about Williams—I figured he was another internet gangster, a hypersensitive e-thug that checks his Google alerts every morning in hopes that someone mentions his name so he can say a bunch of shit he’d never say face-to-face.
Well, this weekend Williams caught my attention again. He wrote a fictional letter on his blog to President Abraham Lincoln from “Precious Ben Jealous, Tom’s Nephew, NAACP head colored person” that read in part, “We Coloreds have taken a vote and decided that we don’t cotton to that whole emancipation thing. Freedom means having to work for real, think for ourselves, and take consequences along with the rewards. That is just far too much to ask of us Colored people and we demand that it stop!”
Turns out the joke was really on Mark Williams…so much for satire. The National TEA Party Federation, having been called out by the NAACP, expelled Williams and the TEA Party Express. Karma all up in that ass! Enough said.
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
What Would Jesus Shoot?
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Humor, Social Comm
Louisiana governor Bobby “Exorcist” Jindal has signed a bill allowing handguns in church, provided the place of worship announces it in a weekly newsletter. Unless the Hot Boys plan on having a reunion concert at Eastern Star Tabernacle Church in Nawlins—in which case some shit might pop off—I have no idea why one would need a gun in church.
I guess this is just another of the many contradictions that keep me away from churches, temples, mosques and synagogues. For example, money is the root of all evil—but make sure you leave a little cash for the pastor, don’t have sex before marriage—but if you give Jesus Juice and a handjob to a pubescent altar boy we’ll find you a new and better church home—with more teenage boys!, do not kill—unless a Dutch journalist mocks your religion…at which point it’s perfectly fine to stab and shoot him dead on an Amsterdam street, and God doesn’t make mistakes—unless your gay…which means He must have had a pretty bad day at work.
I think I’ll sleep in this Sunday.
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
Such A Seemingly Affable Racist
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Social Comm
I should've shot his cracka ass in '84.
“You’re an embarrassment to me. You look like a fuckin’ pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of niggers, it will be your fault.” Damn Mel. First the Jews, now blacks. Mexicans better watch out! Shit, you thought Governor Brewer was something else…wait to you hear Mel’s immigration policy.
And ”a pack”? How about a gang, a group, a G-Unit? Oh yeah, change the “er” to “a.” Nigger is so pre-Civil Rights Act. By the way, you should have received an Oscar for playing Danny Glover’s partner/ace homie in Lethal Weapon. Talk about a complete character transformation…
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
Farmworker Jobs Available: Not Just For “Dem Mexicants”
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Social Comm
As a proud American I can say in general…we’re a lazy bunch of people. We complain about going to jobs that only require us to sit our wide asses down for eight hours and fiddle with a computer. We sit in our cars for minutes on end waiting on the closest possible parking space, without giving thought to taking one of the numerous open spaces just 20 yards from our destination. And we contract most of our dirty farm work to Mexicans, who we then tell to get the fuck out, for fear they’re taking all our jobs, speaking in a secret criminal language and spreading strange diseases like taco fever.
Well now Americans can have the jobs that “dem Mexicants” are taking. The United Farm Workers (UFW) union is offering farm worker training to unemployed Americans. The jobs pay $8-$9 and provide great working conditions, like being hunched over for hours on end, six days a week. Also, the work is seasonal so you’ll be living in worker camps and moving across the country every few months. And no, you will not be able to check your Facebook or surf the net during “downtime” at work.
Let’s see how many American apply…nigga please! You can read more about these job opportunities HERE.
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
Attention Black Women: Not ALL Black Men Are Gay
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Humor, Social Comm
Attention black women: Regardless of what Oprah and her billionaire va-jay-jay led you to believe after the episode about “the down low,” NOT ALL BLACK MEN ARE GAY.
Prime example; my new roommate, a young black woman from Atlanta who works as a masseuse/loin and snatch bedazzler, walked into my room early one weekend morning. Upon entering she saw a magnificent white chocolate woman sprawled across my bed. There was also a faint smell of The Baby D Experience in the air. My roommate said “I’m sorry! But do you have some carwash concentrate?” I answered “no” and that was that.
But later that morning my roommate returned and said, “I am so sorry. I have something to apologize to you for.” Thinking that she might have eaten my Salisbury steak TV dinner, which could completely ruin our domestic situation, I cautiously reply “What?” Then she hit me with something that I have ONLY heard from African American women (despite formerly having a United Nations inspired harem), “I just assumed you were gay. I didn’t know you were into women.”
What? I asked her “Did you think that because of the Prince album cover on my wall?” She explained “No. You said your friend Matt stays over on your couch after you go out drinking. I assumed y’all had something going on.” Huh? “And you seem soft-spoken.”
Well, I don’t really see myself as soft-spoken. My voice is calm and smooth, like a baby’s ass wrapped in silk sheets. Soft-spoken…I don’t know about that.
More puzzled than offended I made things clear to my roommate. “I have gay friends and don’t have a problem with anyone being gay, but that’s not me.” I then added a President Obama-esque statement “I have never engaged in any homosexuality activity, nor have I felt like doing so.” She then yelled in her Southern drawl, “Lawwwd! I’m sorry!” I bet; can I get a witness?
And my roommate is not alone. A couple-few years ago I had a young African American nurse pop the gay question on our first date! I asked her to explain why she asked and she nonchalantly replied, “It’s cause you smile a lot. And a lot of black guys are on the down low now.” God damn Oprah!
To be frank, I don’t exhibit any stereotypical gay male behaviors (loose neck, straight back, diva walk, tendency to pronounce men with an unnecessary plural “s” as in “All them mens over there). But as mentioned, I do smile a lot—for what that’s worth. I also wear jeans that fit, strongly support equality for gays, pay attention to hygiene and despise hypermasculinity. And if that makes me gay, well then heeeyyyy.
But seriously, the rush by black women to label black men (more often than not black men who don’t fit the “hard” black man stereotype, i.e. Kanye West or Drake) as “down low” or “suspect” is symbolic of the homophobia in African American culture. We bought into the fear tactics of J.L. King and his On The Down Low book. We raise our children to be unemotional and hard (admittedly we do need to be, more so than the population as a whole). And we have come to believe that any black man who greets you with a smile as opposed to a head nod and cold stare must be gay.
But you know what…who cares if he is?
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
We Don’t Like No Mooslims
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Social Comm
I saw this bumper sticker as I was going into Walmart this morning. Side note: Yes, I’m trying to beat my Walmart addiction. I know they are a terrible multinational corportation that won’t pay a decent wage, but they have great deals on tissue and TV dinners! Just give me time…I can only fight a couple, few battles at a time.
Anyway, it’s apparent that this person fails to understand that “Allah” is an Arabic term for God. A term, not a different god, as there could be no other god if one is truly a Christian, Muslim or Jewish monotheist.
Damn man, I don’t have all the answers about this typhoon of confusion called religion, but shit like this makes me keep my distance. And to think people like this ran our country (and the world) for eight years. SMH while the founding fathers turn over in their graves (especially Thomas Jefferson who owned a copy of the Qu’Ran).
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
Don’t Kiss Your Dog…Unless You Like Tossing Salad
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Humor, Social Comm
I know we love our pets, but we have to stop kissing dogs on the mouth. Do you know how many salads they toss on a daily basis? Think about it, when ppl meet we say hello. When dogs meet they toss salads. They even toss their own salads. Not cool, not cool.
Told you. Look at the dog in the picture. All up in that ass like R. Kelly.
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
Turn Off Jeezy For A Sec, It’s Malcolm’s Birthday
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Social Comm
It’s Malcom’s birthday, but something tells me that some people only know of him from the Young Jeezy mixtape controversy.
Come on man…read The Autobiography of Malcolm X. Nah, you don’t even have to do that. Google him! Wikipedia him, man!
By the way, that Young Jeezy is bangin’ son! SMH at myself.
“Education is the passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to those who prepare for it today.”
-Malcolm X (El Hajj Malik El Shabazz)
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
An Open Letter To “Fans” of Lebron James
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Short Stories, Social Comm
We love his aggression. He’ll run past you or through you and explode off one leg from just inside the free throw line—watch out, might get nuts on your chin. The opposition calls timeout. He walks toward the bench, bow legged and tip-toe, sweating like Fantasia at an outdoor concert in Mississippi.
But he’s not done. He pauses at center court and thrusts his tatted arms in a hostile upward motion. He wants more. And you oblige because he is The King. You jump to your feet and wave a towel, screaming like a maniacal woman seeking to establish paternity on The Maury Povich Show.
Now things have changed. You say what Kobe would have done (Do you not remember Kobe tanking the final playoff game against the Phoenix Suns, just to make a point that he is the Lakers end all be all? Or how about the clinching game six of the 2008 finals—the Celtics spanked the Lakers and a helpless Kobe by 39 points). You say what Jordan would have done (Did it not take Jordan eight seasons to win his first championship?). You say what Magic would have done (But he couldn’t have done it without Kareem, Worthy and Scott). You even question his commitment to winning.
Have you forgotten what Lebron has done since 2003? For himself, the team, the league, the fans, the city. You make no mention of how he carried us to the 2007 NBA Finals. The night he dropped 48 on the Pistons in the Eastern Conference Finals, including the team’s last 25 points, is a distant memory. What about the game winning three against Orlando in last year’s playoffs?
You ride his aforementioned nuts when things are going well. You proudly wear his jersey and nearly come to blows with anyone who disputes that the hometown kid is The King.
Oh yeah, you love the perks that come with living in the birthplace of basketball royalty. Especially when the Jay-Zs and Ushers come to town to witness; transforming Cleveland from a “mistake” to the city of the moment—if only for a couple nights a year. Believe me, they don’t come to see the city’s landmarks and bask in the pleasant ambiance of terrible weather and high crime. They are here for The King, they will leave with The King.
And now you have the nerve to ask him to stay. Prematurely labeling him an opportunist and money obsessed athlete, if he even gives thought to playing in a city that won’t turn on him after one game. Yes. One terrible game in which admittedly, he played with the emotion of a 10 year old guide dog.
You know what? Go ahead and spend your hard-earned money on Browns tickets. They’ve really shown a commitment to winning, right? Or how about those Indians? Looks like a potential World Series title this year, huh?
Damn, I wonder what fans of Kobe, Jordan, or Magic would do?
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
Say It Loud!
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Humor, Social Comm
First “The Darkness Cake!” and now this. I joined a Facebook group called “I’m Dark Skinned and Effin Proud” in hopes of interacting with people interested in having intelligent discussions about self-idenity and color. But instead I end up browsing through the their page and finding this pic.
Lighten up the background man! Yes, be proud to be dark skinned but we also want to see who you are. Can’t have homeboy blending in with the night. Come on man…
Well, to brighten the mood a bit. Here’s a new R. Kelly, Lil Jon and Mario video called…”Ms. Chocolate.”
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
The Darkness Cake!
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Humor, Social Comm
A friend of a friend got this cake for his birthday. From what I hear he’s a dark skin black man with really white teeth and eyes (hold on…assuming your Hepatitis test is negative mostly everyone has white eyes). Anyway, the guy is a bit of a jokester. So his racially diverse group of friends decided to get him the “Darkness Cake!”
I’m a big fan of racially insensitive humor, especially George Carlin and Chris Rock, so the “Darkness Cake!” provided me with a hesitant laugh. Then I thought of the context–close friends, the birthday boy has a sense of humor, etc–and I found the “Darkness Cake!” borderline hilarious.
But if you change the context, say this cake was given to the birthday boy by co-workers during a brief in-office celebration, and the laughter dies. Worse yet, consider the history of Blackface and things get much more tense. So tense I feel pre-shank a cracka chills coming up my spine. Huh? My bad.
Well it turns out the party went on without problems and everyone was gay and joyous. Nothing like a racially insensitive laugh on an otherwise uneventful weekend…I guess.
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
I Beat You To It Brother Al!
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Humor, Social Comm
A week after I led a march of 10,000 people in San Diego (well I was there, didn’t exactly lead it) Al Sharpton was in Phoenix to protest the Arizona immigration law and announce the founding of a new African American-Latino civil rights organization called BBQ and Burritos. He also rocked a brand new “Los Suns” jersey. Hopefully Brother Al will be instrumental in ushering in a new age of black and brown unity. We can’t afford to sit back and watch Consuela from Family Guy get kicked out the country for no good reason! Hey…I kid because I care!
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
May Day 2010: How Do You Say “Baby D” In Spanish?
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Social Comm
WEDNESDAY APRIL 28, 2010: I met a group of young lawyers in a bar. All were in favor of the Arizona immigration bill. They insisted it was NOT racial profiling. Yet none could define “reasonably suspicious.” Also, none had proof of citizenship when I asked to see their papers. I told them they can’t leave until the feds confirm their citizenship. We didn’t get along too well after that.
SATURDAY MAY 1, 2010: I decide to spend the afternoon with like minded people at the immigration protest in downtown San Diego. We got along much better.
Enjoy and be sure to click “Read The Rest…” for more pics.
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
KFC’s Double Down & Other Forms of Suicide by Value Meal
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Social Comm
There’s been a lot of fuss over KFC’s new “Double Down” sandwich. At first glance it appears to be an edible orgasm for grease loving gluttons on a budget, a symbol of how American eating habits have made this nation into a wasteland of obesity and laziness, a frightening reminder of how we slowly eat ourselves to death yet demand: bigger, bigger, bigger…cheaper, cheaper, cheaper, greasier, greasier, greasier. I want high fructose corn syrup muthafucka! Transfat now nigga!
But when you have a second look the Double Down it ain’t all that. In fact it has the same amount of calories as a Big Mac—540, less calories than a Whopper—670, less than a Wendy’s double burger—740 and even less calories than you’ll get in a McDonald’s five piece chicken breast select—660.
So while a Double Down diet can cause fat assedness and increased healthcare costs for all, it’s not really worse than any other form of suicide by value meal. Please do enjoy.
By the way, I wonder why KFC is not selling the Double Down at its international locations. Hummm…
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
The Reality Card
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Social Comm
The right was in an uproar when Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele stated that as an African American he has a slimmer margin for error than a white chairman would. Republican critics, already steamed about Steele’s politically incorrect goofs and spending issues, pounced on him for “pulling the race card.” Left-wing critics, sensing political gain, mocked Steele as if his comments were invalid, as reflected by White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs statement “I think Michael Steele’s problem isn’t the race card; it’s the credit card.”
The controversy is reflective of a “blame the victim” practice that has become much more prevalent during the Obama era. If one even mentions race he or she is labeled a race baiter, yet the accused perpetrator or in this case system of perpetrators—absent of any overt racist language or actions—are freed from further examination. While there is no hard data to determine if Steele actually does have a slimmer margin of error as the first black GOP chairman, we do know that even today racism is entrenched in American society.
For example:
• The United States Sentencing Commission recently found that black and Hispanics males are given prison sentences that are 10% longer than white males for the same offenses
• Driving While Black continues to be a major offense in many parts of the country, especially on the infamous I-95. A look at the Maryland state trooper’s data shows that while 75% of the highway’s drivers are white, blacks make up 70% of those who are pulled over
• According to US census data black men with a college degree make an average of $42,000 per year, white men with a college degree make $51,000 per year
• Various mainstream media outlets including MSNBC and ABC News have reported an surge in hate crimes since President Obama was elected including a black teenager beaten with a bat by four white teenagers on election night, the post-inauguration raping of a black woman by a white supremacist who also killed her sister and another man, various cross burnings and a four percent rise in the number of hate groups from 2007 to 2008
• According to a University of Chicago study job applicants with a black-sounding name are 50% less likely to receive a call back when compared to applicants with white-sounding names, despite having the same qualifications
• According to the New England Journal of Medicine numerous health disparities exist among African Americans, and they are not only issues of access to care or insurance status. Black patients with insurance are less likely to receive life saving heart bypass surgery when compared to white patients that are also insured. There are also racial disparities in types of treatments offered that are unrelated to having health insurance and access to care
It would be foolish to believe American racism does not reach the realm of politics. Interestingly enough the GOP, who were strongest in the criticism of Steele for “pulling the race card,” have done exactly that numerous times since President Obama’s campaign and election. However, their idea of pulling the race card is not an action of victimhood. It is to engage their largely white male base in hopes of gaining anger votes.
For example:
• Racist buttons were distributed at the Texas Republican Convention
• Prominent South Carolina GOP activist Rusty DePass compared Michelle Obama to an escaped gorilla
• A newsletter distributed by a California republican group include an image of a fake food stamp with President Obama’s picture that included images of watermelon, ribs and fried chicken
• Republican State Senate candidate Mike Parry wrote the following of President Obama on his Twitter page “He is a power hungry arrogant black man.”
• A Tennessee GOP staffer circulated an image that included pictures of all US presidents. However, President Obama’s image only included a set of eyes, as if he is too dark to see
• Republican Geoff Davis from Kentucky said of President Obama “That’s boy’s finger does not need to be the button” when speaking about US nuclear weapons
• Rush Limbaugh…
Obviously the election of President Obama showed that most Americans are fair-minded people. And there has also been great progress in race relations since the Civil Rights Act of 1964; I can only imagine what these statistics and incidences numbered at that time.
But to portray “the race card” as trivial and fictitious is to deny what the statistics and anecdotal evidence continue to show: racism is a reality embedded in the American experience that continues to permeate American culture, especially during times of change and economic turmoil. If you disagree, just wait until President Obama takes up immigration reform…
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
10 Reasons Why Every Straight Man Needs A Gay Friend
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Humor, Social Comm
In the old days, meaning the 2000’s, it was considered strange for a straight man to have gay friends. But now a lot of straight “mens” do and I think more should follow my lead. So here you are, 10 Reasons Why Every Straight Male Needs A Gay Friend…Bitches.
-Ever bought a pair of skinny jeans (or an aerated mesh shirt) and wondered “Does this look gay?” Well, you’ll definitely get an honest answer.
-You can learn how to enhance your vocabulary through various techniques such as the unnecessary plural (adding s to men to create a fabulous term, “mens”) and culturally appropriate terms such as “twink.”
-Before going out on an important date with a nice young lady, he will encourage you by saying “You better work it!”
-He’ll inspire your drive to succeed. Gay men often have a STRONG drive to succeed so that they can move into nice homes with minimalist furniture and purchase fancy name-brand clothing accessories like Paul Smith socks. Perhaps this drive is an effort to get back at a cold, hard world that treats gays as outcasts, or maybe it’s just a desire to “work it.” And as we all know if you want to “work it” that’s going to cost some money. Whatever the case may be, you don’t have drive until you have gay drive.
-You get honest feedback from a more feminine perspective that most men are unable to give. This feedback usually begins with the phrase “You know you wrong for that one. I wish a nigga would…” Feedback then becomes more masculine and ends with “You don’t know how to pimp those hoes. I’ll tell you how to pimp those bitches.”
-If he’s out shopping and sees a tie on sale, he might just pick it up for you.
-You become sure that if it ever came down to it and you needed him to help you scrap he’d be down. And yes I literally mean scrap, similar to what you see in the video below.
-Think of all the women you know. Multiply that by 20 and you’ll get an idea of a gay man’s female network. All potential referrals!
-You know how you wanted to buy the Beyonce because “the beats are good,” but you didn’t for fear of manly retribution from friends. Go ahead and buy it. He’ll understand because according to him “Beyonce is a bad ass bitch.”
-All men have a friend or family member that makes them wonder if he’s hiding in a designer closet. Maybe his back is a little too straight or his neck a tad bit loose. Or maybe he came to your room wearing tighty-whiteys and a torn baby t-shirt, saying “You got anytime to talk?” Well no need to wonder anymore. Introduce him to your gay friend and he’ll utilize his high speed Gadar. Then you all can feel comfortable around each other, just one big gay group of friends. Gay as in happy!
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
Why The Hate Towards Africa?
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Social Comm
I would describe myself as more pro-human than pro-black, but I’ve grown to recognize the importance of appreciating my African heritage. Like many black Americans I spent a fair amount of time distancing myself from Africa, even called a few people “African bootyscratchers” as a youth. But now as a grown ass sensual man I realize that in many ways I am an AFRICAN IN AMERICAN. Or maybe I’m reading too much Malcolm X? What do you think? (You need not be of African heritage to answer the question.)
A similar question was posed on Facebook and a very interesting dialogue started. I got a little pissed off (a neck vein started showing and my forehead got shiny). Keep in mind that everyone on the thread was as dark or darker than me. i.e. A few shades lighter than Wesley Snipes…if that even matters. Have a look:
Payroll Johnny: Which one are you, African American or Negro?
Rasheda Searles: i’m black
Dewan Gibson: African American=ethnicity, black=race, which is your physical characteristics. So u can be black, but not African American. Negro=Old term for African American. Some of r grandparents still use it, which is why its on the census.
Senolia L. Martinez: I am American I’ve never been to African and I am not a Negro my skin color is brown.
Tiffany AngelofGod Baylor: I HATE being called a african american cause all of my ancestry are NOT from africa! Some are white, some are American INDIANS and some are from Africa! So that “lable” that the whites gave us after slavery was wrong in my opinion.
Dewan Gibson: There’s hardly any ppl that are just one ethnicity. But i don’t see how our ppl deny Africa when are features, hair and blood are almost completely African–not white or Indian. Seems to be a lot of self-hate towards Africa (in general). If u don’t love the roots, you can’t love the tree. There’s a lot to be proud of about Africa. Its a shame that we try to distance ourselves.
Di-Ya Davis: i’m black
Tiffany AngelofGod Baylor: I never want to distance myself, but I kno where my roots are and there are too many different roots passed down for ME personally to claim to be african american. I would like to say that I am of Indian, african, and Caucasian decent. Now you can “label” that if u want but I say that I am mixed. What about folks who has one parent from Egypt, and … another from, England. But they where born in america? What “label” would u put on them? African american right! They would consider that controversial cause they are not “Just” african american. Feel me. Look at my son, he Looks white with BLONDE hair, cause of the genes passed down. but I am brownskinned.
Dewan Gibson: Cool. Like anyone, feel free to label yourself as you see fit. For me it was more about the slight anti-African tone that led me to write my previous comment. NO AFRICAN AMERICANS HAVE 100% BLOOD, that is obvious. So maybe we should all call ourselves mixed. In which case there would be no such thing as an African American or black person. As for … the child, he could be whoever he wants to. Pres Obama has an African dad and white mother, but he identifies as African American. Why? Because he feels a strong (maybe stronger) cultural connection with this group and his skin obviously is not white. I didn’t mean to offend you and should have spoken in more general terms. But my point is that there is a fear and demeaning attitude among African Americans towards Africa and its people. It’s disgusting and full of self-hate. IMO for someone to say “I am only black and not African American” (not saying u said this, but it is often said) is to deny an ethnicity/culture and simply be a color. Why? Because they have been taught this “dark continent” is poor, shameful and w/o pride. But to each his or her own.
Tiffany AngelofGod Baylor: Africans wouldn’t call us africans? They call us Negros or Black. Negro is spanish for black. FYI.
Dewan Gibson: Africans I’ve met in a number of places throughout the world call me “brother,” “my African brother” and also ask why we’re so distant. They will sometimes say “American” until they find I’m not the typical American Negro who is intimidated by my roots. And yes Negro is a Spanish term, but originally Latin for “dark.” Not sure that matters.
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
Sex In The City: The STD Edition
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Social Comm
Photo Courtesy of Phil Selby: bigeyedeer.wordpress.com
A little over a week ago I came across an article on CNN.com that discussed the prevalence of herpes among adults ages 14-49. The article discussed a Center for Disease Control study that found nearly 17% of the U.S. population has genital herpes, including 21% of women and an embarrassing/astounding 48% of black women (sorry, I love my people—and not just my light-skinned people—but I have to call it as I see it).
After digesting the article I posted it on Facebook along with a status update that read:
“Just read that one out of five women has genital herpes. Guess that means one out of five women is at-risk of having my foot up her ass. This is crazy! U can’t even dry-hump anymore. I’m waiting until I settle down. Not trying to get sores around Big Thunder.”
An assortment of comments followed including one from a friend named “Grits” who talked about throat herpes (in a T-pain voice). Other comments came from women who seemed to take offense at the statistics…as if I did the study or spread herpes to 21% of the female population.
Anyway, the whole hilarious in a weird way post-study debacle re-sparked an earlier interest in sexual health from my days as a community health director/HNIC. So I went over to the Center for Disease Control website and started an amateur analysis of the data.
Unfortunately herpes data is only based on physician office visits across the nation and not analyzed to the tee like data for other STDs such as chlamydia and gonorrhea. As a result, you’re stuck reading about chlamydia and gonorrhea. (BTW shout-out to my homeboy Firestarter.)
My first thought was “Chlamydia, come on man. I’ll knock that out with some antibiotics and be back in the game by the weekend.” But after further reading I realized that a lot of STDs are co-occurring. So if you’re burning you are also at a higher risk for herpes and the monster…HIV.
You can play around with the data in a number of ways, but as a former international chick banger I chose to break it up by city. So I found cities in the U.S. where the most common STD (Chlamydia) is most prevalent. In other words, cities that if you visit or live you probably want to wear a latex body suit.
Here are the 10 cities with the highest chlamydia rates per 100,000 people (from highest to lower, among the 50 largest cities in the United States):
1) Memphis, Tennessee 2) Virginia Beach, VA 3) Birmingham, AL 4) Jacksonville, Florida 5) Detroit, Michigan 6) Richmond, VA 7) Austin, TX 8) Indianapolis, IN 9) Rochester, NY 10) St. Louis, MO.
Well, I guess these rankings kind of give new meaning to “Dirty South.” But all jokes aside the important question is what can we do? Obviously safe sex (but damn you can get herpes from dry-humping!), abstinence, access to health care and education are all issues.
Thus, I want to propose something that former U.S. Surgeon General brought up back in 1998 and lost her job for doing so. We need to start jacking off more!
That’s right. I firmly believe that masturbation can prevent some of the bad decision making that comes with running up in people raw, being unfaithful and banging out mass populations of women and men. So here’s my suggestion: Jerk it before you work it.
In the coming weeks I’ll dive deeper into masturbation/STD prevention research and contact some of my old peeps from the field of public health. Perhaps we’ll come together and start a masturbation campaign to decrease STDs? Shit…stay tuned.
You can read the report from the CDC here.
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
Politicians Trying to Get Play
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Humor, Social Comm
It has been a bad week for fake ass politicians. First California State Senator Roy Ashburn, who has consistently voted against equal rights for gays, was arrested for drunk driving…after he left a gay bar with a twink (exit only, I learned the term “twink” from “Terrail.” Read my book and you’ll get the joke).
Anyway, after the arrest Senator Ashburn admitted that he has a sexual preference for humans with Y chromosomes. He then made plans to attend Fire Island this summer.
Then, Eric Massa, a married with children US Congressman from New York resigned after being accused of inappropriate behavior towards male staffers. He claims he only tickled his staffers and once said “I should be fucking you!” But besides that he didn’t do much other than get a major boner as he imagined soap dripping down the crack of a young man’s ass. Congressman Massa will also be attending Fire Island this summer.
Lastly, Utah State Representative Kevin Garn admitted that at age 28 he went skinny dipping with a 15 year old employee. Years later when he ran for office in his late 40’s he paid the woman $150,000 not to mention the incident. But you guessed it; her slick ass went and blabbed off to the media anyway. Unfortunately after losing a 150k, Representative Garn cannot afford to attend Fire Island, but hopes to make it to Freak-Nic in Atlanta when that starts again.
The lesson is, if you plan on being a politician, consider letting all your dirt out prior to taking office. When I run for the Senate all I have to say is “Read the book man, just read the book.” On second thought…there is that one incident with that woman who might have born in the early 1990’s. But the statute of limitations is almost up on that so I’m cool! Coming soon, Senator Baby D.
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
Why I’m Against The War
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Humor, Social Comm
This don’t make no damn sense. Woman goes over and fights for our country and comes back to work in a fake ass strip club–in Meechy’s basement. We gotta do better for our wounded warriors.
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
Jihad Jane: Actress Glenn Close A Terrorist?
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Humor, Social Comm
So much for racial profiling…American actress Glenn Close has been charged with plotting to kill a Swedish journalist who drew a derogatory cartoon of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). You probably know her from the 1980′s thriller Fatal Attraction. Well, she allegedly recruited potential killers online and wrote of her desire to become an Islamic martyr. You know, just the regular ol’ shit that Hollywood stars do.
I always knew those Hollywood commies were up to something. And don’t let me get started on that foreign-born socialist Hussein Obama…jeez. I’m just glad to know that we have real patriots like Liz Cheney to pick up where Joseph McCarthy left off.
Sorry!!! I’ve just been alerted that the accused terrorist IS NOT actress Glenn Close. Apparently she is Colleen LaRose, a suburban housewive in Montgomery, Pennsylvania and a down-low terrorist. You can read more about her arrest here. I still suspect that she might have a Hollywood connection and I will keep you updated. The real Glenn Close (or is her name really Colleen LaRose?) is below. Sorry about that, but God Bless America.
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
Judge Mathis: One Of My Favorite People
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Humor, Social Comm
Before starting this post I want to reaffirm my love for Judge Judy. I’ve spoken of her in glowing terms usually reserved for models of womanhood such as Mary-Mother of Jesus and Sheila-Mother of Dewan, Wayne, Durrell and Lashaunta. However, there is another TV judge that I admire and that’s Judge Mathis.
I started digging Judge Mathis years ago when I noticed a number of his proceedings included the phrase “Y’all must of had something freaky going on!” Often the litigants did NOT have anything freaky going on, but being such an astute Judge, Brotha Mathis figured he should ask anyway. Plus he wanted to be ready in case some freaky shit did jump off after the show.
Sadly Judge Mathis is not shown on basic TV in San Diego. I guess it’s kind of like how The Man puts literature by black authors in the “black section” of the bookstore despite the story of the novel having little or nothing to do with the black experience. Well, the same for Judge Mathis. He’s a black judge so I guess they figure only markets with large black populations are interested in seeing if there actually is “something freaky going on.”
But thanks to the magic of the internet I was able to see Judge Mathis on Youtube. Check him out discussing the prison industrial complex and the need for reform (WTF! Corporate owned prisons paying inmates $1 a day!).
Anyway, if you’re one of those fancy, rich progressive people with hundreds of cable channels and multiple episodes of shows like The Colbert Report stored on your DVR (whatever that is), feel free to invite me over so we can try and find Judge Mathis. Until then watch him above and below.
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
John Mayer Said Nigga: Who Gives a Damn…
Posted by Dewan Gibson | Filed under Social Comm
A number of black themed blogs are upset about John Mayer’s “nigger” comments…and it’s a whole bunch of racket about nothing. The minute someone lacking in melatonin says “nigga” or “nigger” the context behind their statements is disregarded and an immediate racism examination is conducted.
In short, the offender is screened for their history with black people, someone calls Jesse, someone calls Al and then the offender issues an apology—just to shut everyone up. White liberals and black intellectuals continue to pounce on the offender until he or she completes six months of nigga punishment, which includes additional apologies and service to the black community.
As you can read below from Mayer’s conversation with Playboy, this ain’t exactly Michael Richards at the Los Angeles Laugh Factory. Mayer is making the point that if he was genuinely accepted within the black community perhaps he would have the go ahead to use the word “nigger” (NOTE: Considering publications ALWAYS print “nigger” when someone says “nigga” I assume Mayer actually said “nigga”—not that it makes any difference to the ultra sensitive).
I suppose Mayer could have said “n-word” instead of actually saying “nigger.” But I suppose the vast majority of African Americans, Latinos and Filipinos could do the same. Yes, in case you didn’t know the “n-word” is common among the three ethnic groups mentioned.
Listen, I find it funny when Chris Rock says “There’s a difference between niggas and black people.” I laugh just as hard when he calls white people “crackers.” I also find it funny when friends say “Nigga please!”
So I refuse to display the blatant hypocrisy that comes with laughing when one person says it and criticizing another, despite the fact that the person is not even calling someone “nigger” or “nigga.”
He is alluding to a term! Sorry, but I can’t aid in creating an environment where someone cannot even discuss the term, without actually saying the term. Nigga, nigga, nigga. Big deal.
Think of it this way. Say I’m with female friends, and as manly men like myself often do, I blurt out the lyrics to Lady Gaga and scream ”I’m a free bitch!” However, say one of the women I’m with gets offended. Is her offense justified? Do I really need to be called a chauvinist? Does my picture on a “Wanted: Dead or Alive” poster really need to be sent to the National Organization for Women? No!
Bottom line, save for the anger for real racism—Michelle Obama’s picture altered to look like monkey, the Michael Bell shooting and verdict, US immigration policy towards Haiti—not some singer who makes light of a supposed dirty, yet sacred term that is consistently used in a NUMBER of communities.
Pick your battles wisely, this ain’t one of them.
A portion of Mayer’s interview is below. You can read the rest by clicking HERE.
Dewan W. Gibson: Author of The Imperfect Enjoyment
MAYER: Someone asked me the other day, “What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?” And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, “I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’”
PLAYBOY: It is true; a lot of rappers love you. You recorded with Common and Kanye West, played live with Jay-Z.
MAYER: What is being black? It’s making the most of your life, not taking a single moment for granted. Taking something that’s seen as a struggle and making it work for you, or you’ll die inside. Not to say that my struggle is like the collective struggle of black America. But maybe my struggle is similar to one black dude’s.
PLAYBOY: Do black women throw themselves at you?
MAYER: I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.
PLAYBOY: Let’s put some names out there. Let’s get specific.
MAYER: I always thought Holly Robinson Peete was gorgeous. Every white dude loved Hilary from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. And Kerry Washington. She’s superhot, and she’s also white-girl crazy. Kerry Washington would break your heart like a white girl. Just all of a sudden she’d be like, “Yeah, I sucked his dick. Whatever.” And you’d be like, “What? We weren’t talking about that.” That’s what “Heartbreak Warfare” is all about, when a girl uses jealousy as a tactic.
