Chivalry: Bracing Her When She Falls While Making Out With You At Football Game

football-game-making-out

I can’t watch this video without the sound of Def Leppard’s “Pour Some Sugar On Me” entering my head.

-Dewan Gibson

Student To Obama During Visit: ‘I Wanted It To Be Beyonce’

Screenshot 2014-09-12 at 11.34.15 AM

Why? It’s not like President Obama can’t dance. Well…

Obama Dancing on Ellen

-Dewan Gibson

Old School Brotha Goes Off On Train Passenger Who Stepped On His Corns

step-on-my-feet

This guy might be kin to Otis The Security Guard from Martin. “Step on my corns again, it’s gone be some trouble…” (Followed by a Rick Flair “woooooo!”)

-Dewan Gibson

Beatking Ft. Danny Brown & RiFF RAFF: ‘Rambunctious’

beatking

I need to find a nightclub where they play this sort of music, preferably an 18 and over joint. Better yet, 18 for women to get in, 35 for guys.

-Dewan Gibson

Just One Of The Ways In Which Soulja Boy And I Differ

-Dewan Gibson

Liquor Thief Confronted By Store Crew, Defends Honor

rum-thief

I know what it feels like to need a bottle or two in the daytime, but I can’t respect this. My parents own a bar and some fool tried to gank a few bottles of beer right out of their cooler. Good thing my brother, “Dallas Sexy,” was there to threaten him with death. But man, the guy in the video is lucky sista-friend was recording. He was about to take a bottle to the head. By the way, you can tell this brotha’s been pepper sprayed more than a few times. He took it like binaca and kept walking.

-Dewan Gibson

Naked Man Tackled On Field During MLB Game, May Have Suffered Ball Damage

naked.braves.guy

My dream of doing this died when I turned 18 (not trying to go to jail naked and end up getting my chute taken), but I’ll always admire the courage of others who have little regard for the pain that comes with a carpet burn on deez nutz. (Deadspin)

-Dewan Gibson

Snoop Dogg ‘Sold Out’ For The Swagger Wagon Before Busta

busta-toyota-sienna

Black Twitter erupted after church yesterday when Busta Rhymes’ video for Toyota’s “Swagger Wagon” hit the net. The general consensus was that Fat Back Busta is a sellout, though I’m guessing he wouldn’t be if he became a part-time pitchman for bad liquor like Puff Daddy. Plus he probably made more from this ad than he did the entire time he was on Cash Money Records. Anyway, Snoop started shouting out the Toyota Sienna mini-van back in 2011 through a paid tweet. But Snoop will sell anything, including Hot Pockets. What’s an old rapper to do? Both are over 40 and have four kids, they could probably use a minivan.

snoop-swagger-wagon

-Dewan Gibson

Woman Who Made Bad Choice Posts Missing Baby Daddy Ad

missing.dad

Damn, girl. He’s only been missing from his kids’ lives for a little over a month. He’ll be back around tax time.

-Dewan Gibson

Meet Instagram’s Mr. Nasty Time: ‘I Eats The Booty’

mr.nasty.time

Instagram is officially becoming the new version of Craigslist’s Casual Encounters. If you notice Mr. Nasty Time likes women “probably about 18 on up,” which he probably made clear as a condition of his parole.

-Dewan Gibson