Meet Instagram’s Mr. Nasty Time: ‘I Eats The Booty’


Instagram is officially becoming the new version of Craigslist’s Casual Encounters. If you notice Mr. Nasty Time likes women “probably about 18 on up,” which he probably made clear as a condition of his parole.

-Dewan Gibson

Drugs Get The Best Of Insanely Large Man At Pitchfork Festival


Man, dude must have been taking elephant tranquilizer. Must be the new thing to do when Danny Brown’s performing.

-Dewan Gibson

Old Dude Falls Asleep On Beach, Forgets To Strap Down Ball Sack


When you get his age you can’t wear shorts that tiny unless you have ball tuck surgery. Either that or strap it down with a bungee cord.

-Dewan Gibson

Flexible Trollop Twerks Atop Car, Roof Caves In


I’m not usually one to speak out against that thunderclap, but I’d have to take this up with my boo Judge Judy.

-Dewan Gibson

Woman Stages Public Protest Over ‘Hoe’ Who Stole Her Man


A wise man once said: “If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything. So check a hoe if she takes your man.”

-Dewan Gibson