Spike Lee Splices Radio Raheem & Eric Garner Chokehold Footage

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What’s crazy is that the NYPD banned chokeholds in 1993, but I guess they make exceptions for “certain people.” (Byron Crawford)

-Dewan Gibson

Man Arrested For Molesting Rottweiler, Definitely Looks The Part

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On the hipster or sex offender picture continuum he leans just slightly towards the latter. But just a little. “Interesting selfie, bro. Where’d you take it?” “Oh, that’s my picture from the Illinois Sex Offender Registry.” “Dope!” From the Chicagoist:

Prosecutors in downstate Edwardsville are seeking to have a man with a record of sexual abuse declared “sexually dangerous” after being arrested for allegedly molesting a Rottweiler puppy. Terry Wayne Davis, 44, was declared by one psychologist to not be sexually dangerous as defined under law, as well as fit to stand trial. Madison County prosecutors are seeking a second evaluation. According to the Alton Telegraph, Davis was indicted on three counts of sexual conduct with an animal, which his roommate allegedly witnessed.

-Dewan Gibson

Man Pretends To Be TSA Agent, Cops A Feel In Private Room

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Just think, some guys like this actually become TSA agents. This dude probably would have, too, if he wasn’t a filthy rich private equity executive.

Federal law enforcement agencies on Wednesday were investigating the strange case of a man accused of impersonating a security officer at SFO and patting down a female passenger in a private security room…

A representative from the transportation security administration confirmed Wednesday night they are looking into this incident. The spokesperson said the man was not one of their employees, but rather just another ticketed passenger who managed to fool two unsuspecting female travelers…

According to the police report obtained by KTVU, Slighton was seen “waving at and entering the private screening room” near the exit of the Area A security checkpoint at the International Terminal at SFO with an unknown Asian passenger.

-Dewan Gibson

Another Young Female Teacher Accused Of Swaking Student

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Over the past year or so more and more young female teachers have been caught boning students. It’s like a Skinemax movie, or maybe just my dream as a kid, come true. Ms. Watkins (pictured above) even gave the lucky dude weed. Man, if this is part of Common Core I’m definitely a supporter. From New York Daily News:

A Connecticut English teacher turned herself in Thursday on allegations that she had sex with and sent naked pictures of herself to one of her students at Stamford High School.

Danielle Watkins, 32, of Norwalk, allegedly had sex with the 18-year-old male numerous times in her car during school hours, off school property from September 2013 until June 2014, according to the Stamford Police Department.

At one point the victim tried to end the sexual encounters but Watkins attacked him and accused him of being with someone else, he said.

Watkins allegedly threatened to fail the student if they did not continue having sex so he waited until the school year ended in late June before telling a counselor about the predicament.

-Dewan Gibson

Woman Arrested For Making 3D Copy Of Her Snatch

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She was just using the 3D image to make a snatch-themed kayak, presumably to represent the idea of drowning in the cooch, and the authorities stepped in and locked her up. So this is why Japanese instructional videos always have the loins blurred…From The Japan Times:

The arrest of a Tokyo artist on obscenity charges for distributing data that allowed recipients to make 3-D prints of her vagina has sparked protests over what supporters say is an attack on free expression.

Megumi Igarashi, 42, who calls herself Rokudenashi-ko (“a no-good girl”), had been trying to raise funds online to pay for the construction of a kayak, using a 3-D printer, modeled on the shape of her genitals.

Japan has a vibrant pornography industry that caters to a vast array of tastes, but obscenity laws forbid the depiction of actual genitalia, which usually appear censored or blurred in images and videos.

The artist — who has created other genital-inspired artworks — was arrested Saturday for “distributing data that could create an obscene shape through a 3-D printer,” a police spokesman said.

-Dewan Gibson