Possible Whooty Arrested For Stealing Deep Throat Desensitizing Spray

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I think I’ve see her on Byron Crawford’s Secret Searchlights or an episode of Wild Teens That Maury Wants To Smash. FromThe Smoking Gun:

This week’s most embarrassing shoplifting arrest comes from South Carolina, where police yesterday nabbed an 18-year-old woman for stealing Rock Hard erection cream, handcuffs, and Deep Throat desensitizing spray from a mall store.

Karla Farmer first swiped the cream and spray from the “love unit” of a Spencer’s store, according to a police report. After exiting the business, she returned a few minutes later to nick the handcuffs, investigators allege.

Mall security subsequently detained Farmer and handcuffed the teenager when she fought with them and tried to flee.

-Dewan Gibson

Video: Man Jumps White House Fence, Kicks Secret Service Dog

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I’m thinking America will show more concern for the dog’s safety than the president’s. And that lil’ punk ass dog needs to be fired. He took a shoe to the head and ran the opposite way like Mike Vick wanted to talk to him about a new and exciting opportunity to test his physical limits.

-Dewan Gibson

Teenage Mutant Negro Turtle Robs Convenience Store

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Leonardo, Michaelangelo, Raphael, Donatello, and…Lacorrion. We have to see how this story holds up, it could just be some kind of weird promotion for the new Ninja Turtles movie. Hey, they did have Juicy J do the soundtrack. From TPM:

A Louisiana teen is behind bars after police say he donned a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle mask and used a stick wrapped in plastic to rob a convenience store Thursday morning.

Lafayette police say 18-year-old Lacorrion Detron Turner is charged with first-degree robbery. Police say he was able to force his way behind the counter with the stick. He then tried — and failed — to open the register.

Police say Turner fled on foot after taking two wallets from underneath the counter.

-Dewan Gibson

Meth Head Couple Caught Sexing In Backseat Of Cop Car

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Romance isn’t dead, it just lives in the back of a cop car and uses Busch Light and meth as an aphrodisiac. From The Smoking Gun:

After being arrested, a Wisconsin couple had sex in the back of a police cruiser, an encounter that was interrupted when a cop heard the woman “begin to moan loudly” while her legs were “touching the ceiling” of the vehicle, according to a criminal complaint.

Heather Basten, 29, and Travis Husnik, 33, were taken into custody by Oconto County Sheriff’s Department deputies after their car was spotted drifting into oncoming traffic on August 3.

During questioning by cops, Basten, who was driving, and Husnik admitted they had been drinking. A deputy noted that there were two open cans of Busch Light on the car’s floorboard, and that Husnik “indicated one been belonged to him and the other to Heather.”

Husnik, who was on probation, was handcuffed and placed in the rear of a police cruiser. He was soon joined there by Basten, who was driving without a license and had a used syringe in her purse. Basten reportedly said that she “used to shoot up meth with it.”

-Dewan Gibson

What The Police See When They Stop A Black Man

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Police and protesters in St. Louis faced off for a second night following the fatal shooting of an 18-year-old black man by an off-duty white police officer.

The killing of Vonderrit D. Myers Wednesday night by the officer who was working a second job for a security firm has prompted renewed protests in the wake of the August death of 18-year-old black man Michael Brown at the hands of a white police officer in the St. Louis suburb of Ferguson.

Police say Myers fired off several shots from a stolen 9 mm Ruger. The family of the victim denies that he was armed.” (NPR)

-Dewan Gibson

No Experimental Drug For The Black Guy With Ebola

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Lesson learned: If you’re black and catch Ebola you can only get the experimental, life-saving drugs if you hold the hospital hostage like John Q. From CNN:

Thomas Eric Duncan, a man with Ebola who traveled to the United States from Liberia, died Wednesday morning at Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital in Dallas, the hospital said.

He had been in critical condition after being diagnosed with the virus in mid-September. People who had contact with the 42-year-old Liberian national are being monitored for symptoms.

Louise Troh, Duncan’s longtime partner, said through a public relations firm that she believes “a thorough examination will take place regarding all aspects of his care.”

johnq

-Dewan Gibson

 

Video: Cops Punch, Pistol Whip Surrendering Teen After Chase

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Hell hath no wrath like a fat ass cop who’s angry that he actually had to chase a suspect. From Gothamist:

According to court records obtained by DNAinfo, Kahreem Tribble caught officers’ attention when they spotted him peering into a van parked in Bed-Stuy shortly after 2 a.m. on August 29th. When officers emerged from their vehicle to approach Tribble, he allegedly tossed a small canvas bag and ran. A short foot-chase concluded with Tribble, 16, apparently attempting to surrender.

The video, which is silent, shows Tribble stopping as officer Tyrane Isaac catches up to him and punches Tribble in the head. As Tribble backs up against a storefront with his hands up, another officer, David Afanador, appears to strike him in the head with his firearm.

-Dewan Gibson

Here’s The Brotha Who Brought Ebola To The U.S.

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Thomas Eric Duncan, from Monrovia, Liberia, currently lives in Ghana. He came to Dallas to visit family and brought a little secret with him: Ebola. Authorities believe he may have been infected while helping a pregnant woman with the illness, or by doing grown folk thangs. Like most people, Duncan seems to be more focused on his smartphone than anything going on around him, or inside of him. (NBC News)

-Dewan Gibson

Video: Police Taser 62-Year-Old In Her Back, Just Because

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Remember: Never turn your back to a wild animal, or a feral policeman. Both are extremely untrustworthy and violent.  The assault begins at the 2:32 mark. From Talking Points Memo:

“A Tallahassee police officer tased a 62-year old African-American woman in the back while she was walking away from him.

The incident, which was caught on tape, has resulted in an internal investigation and the officer being put on leave. It happened while police were responding to calls about drug deals on Tuesday evening.

In the video, Mahan is seen walking past two police cars toward the woman, Viola Young. Young turns around and Mahan pulls out his stun gun and shoots at Young’s back. Young falls down straight onto the ground.

A released police report said that Mahan said Young and another man were yelling at officers. When Mahan told people to step back, the man complied, according to the report, but Young did not.”

-Dewan Gibson

Ambitious But Naive ATL Shawty Arrested For Claiming $94 Million Tax Refund

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The woman claimed she made $99 million in income, which somehow entitled her to a state refund of $94 million. Not even government subsidized oil companies that hire Republican lobbyists receive that kind cash. The best part: The numerous calls she made to The Man to inquire about the check’s status, and her joy when they told her to come pick it up. Hey, go big or go home. Well, go big and go to prison. From AJC:

A woman accused of filing a phony state tax return for $94 million was arrested when she attempted to claim her check at a Cobb County bank, Channel 2 Action News reported.

Brigitte Jackson was arrested and charged with attempted theft by taking and conspiracy to defraud the state, according to an investigator with the Georgia Department of Revenue…

Waites said investigators asked Jackson to come to a grocery store bank counter to pick up her $94 million refund check, and when she did, she was arrested.

-Dewan Gibson