Burger King (Japan) Introduces All-Black-Everything Burger

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Black is highly appreciated in Japan, or maybe that’s just what I’ve gathered from watching their instructional videos with the important details blurred out. Hopefully we can get this burger to the U.S. by February:

Buns made from bamboo charcoal, an onion and garlic sauce made with squid ink, beef patties made with black pepper, and black cheese, which is also apparently made with bamboo charcoal.” (Kotaku)

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-Dewan Gibson

Fox News Host On Ray Rice Beating Wife On Elevator: ‘The Message Is Take The Stairs’

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This is along the lines of what fellow conservative Ben Stein said of Mike Brown: “He wasn’t unarmed. He was armed with his incredibly strong, scary self.” Kilmeade even had that same look on his face, like he’s really about to say something deep. Hell, if he was trying to be funny he should have just quoted Chris Rock’s “shake the shit out of her” joke. (Raw Story)

-Dewan Gibson

Berkeley Weed Dispensaries Required To Donate Two Percent Of Product To The Poor

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I’m generally pro-po’ folks and for the legalization of marijuana, but “medical conditions” aside, habitual weed use ruins motivation and non-rap relation achievement, just take a look at this blog. And I don’t mean to sound like Mitt Romney, but if a broke ass needs something it’s motivation. Again, there is a medical use for marijuana, but here in Cali the medical need to get clinical access need not be anything more than a slight headache. From The New York Times:

Beginning next August, medical marijuana dispensaries in this city (Berkeley) will be required to donate at least 2 percent of their cannabis to low-income residents. The City Council approved the requirement this summer — unanimously no less — with the hope of making the drug, which can sell for up to $400 an ounce at dispensaries, affordable for all residents.

“Instead of taking steps to help the most economically vulnerable residents get out of that state, the city has said, ‘Let’s just get everybody high,’ ” said John Lovell, a lobbyist for the California Narcotic Officers’ Association.

-Dewan Gibson

NYPD Drags Naked Woman Out Apartment, For Whopping Kid

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Punk ass PO-lice, but at the same time Mom has to know that you can’t hit your kids unless you use a phonebook to prevent bruising:

“It’s disgusting and embarrassing. I’ve been married 16 years. It took my husband 10 years to see my nakedness,” she told the News this week. “I didn’t do nothing wrong.” Cops said they were called to the building over a disturbance, but not given an apartment number; they heard shouting from Stewart’s apartment, and say that her 12-year-old daughter had “visible injuries” to her face. The 12-year-old allegedly told officers her mother and older sister had beaten her with a belt. (Gothamist)

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Trend On Chinese Twitter: Women’s Armpit Hair Selfies

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If a woman’s going to grow hair in her pits she should at least pretty it up with beads and Luster’s Pink Oil Moisturizer. #TeamNatural (Shanghaiist)

-Dewan Gibson

Man Takes Rap Video Shoot Too Seriously, Starts Actually Shooting People

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Look at how the other guys just walk over the victim like he’s not even a person. I hope he recovers and comes back like 50 on all their sorry asses. But man, these struggle rappers are crazy. I might need to stop rejecting these mixtapes before one of these fools comes after me. From Gothamist:

According to the NYPD, at 1:10 a.m. on August 2, the suspect and victim got into an argument at 1439 Webster Avenue. The Daily News reported the pair were filming a rap video at the store, and got into an argument about who was actually the star; the store owner also said they were drunk.

At one point, police say the suspect took out his gun and fired at the victim repeatedly. (Note how he continues to hold his drink.) Then he beats the victim on the head with the gun before fleeing. Others inside the bodega walk by the victim without helping. The victim is in critical condition at Lincoln Hospital.

-Dewan Gibson

Prof. Puts Camera In Bathroom, Invites Students Over

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I’m for all for evaluating if a lady can pass the toilet test (donk and thigh flesh should engulf and hang off the seat), but the proper way to do that is to hold your breath and kick in the door while your prospective woman is handling business. The camera in the tissue box is mad pervy, especially if it picks up audio. From SFist:

After an eight-month-long investigation, a former professor at the University of San Francisco and SF State stands accused of using a secret bathroom camera to record students from both schools as they used the facilities.

Mark Landis had taught accounting at SF State since 2006, and at USF for less than two years when a student at a November, 2013 party at Landis’ home noticed a tissue box on the toilet that, he discovered, contained a camera, the Ex reports.

The student took the memory card for the camera, and later “examined the contents of the memory card and saw that there were many instances of guests being filmed in the bathroom,” then turned the footage over to police.

SF District Attorney George Gascon told KTVU that at least 15 people appeared on the bathroom-cam tape, many of whom were past and current students of Landis’.

-Dewan Gibson

Craigslist iPhone Seller: ‘Trying To Get Money For Abortion’

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I saw this floating around Facebook and decided to see if it was legit and apparently it’s real, though the seller has yet to respond to my offer of fifty bucks and unlicensed post-abortion counseling. Plus a free Planned Parenthood coupon that just maybe I had from back in the day.

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-Dewan Gibson

Shaq, Waka Flocka Sued For Making Fun of Guy Who’s More Attractive On The Inside

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I’m not sure this lawsuit is going anywhere, but Shaq should at least send him a pair of those Payless shoes he used to endorse and a bit of that hush money that he used to give to scorned harlots. Well, according to Kobe. From MLive:

A Warren man is suing three celebrities after they used the Internet to make fun of his rare disfiguring medical condition.

John W. Henke III of Southfield-based Henke Law Group on Wednesday filed a $25,000-plus lawsuit on behalf of 24-year-old Jahmel Binion against former NBA star Shaquille O’Neal; rapper Waka Flocka Flame, whose real name is Juaquin Malphurs; and Alphonso “Trey” Burke, a point guard with the NBA’s Utah Jazz and former University of Michigan basketball standout.

O’Neal in April posted a photo to Instagram and Twitter in which he distorted his face in an attempt to mock a photo of Binion, who has ectodermal dysplasia which produces abnormalities with the hair, teeth, nails, sweat glands and face.

-Dewan Gibson

Spike Lee Splices Radio Raheem & Eric Garner Chokehold Footage

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What’s crazy is that the NYPD banned chokeholds in 1993, but I guess they make exceptions for “certain people.” (Byron Crawford)

-Dewan Gibson