NYPD Drags Naked Woman Out Apartment, For Whopping Kid


Punk ass PO-lice, but at the same time Mom has to know that you can’t hit your kids unless you use a phonebook to prevent bruising:

“It’s disgusting and embarrassing. I’ve been married 16 years. It took my husband 10 years to see my nakedness,” she told the News this week. “I didn’t do nothing wrong.” Cops said they were called to the building over a disturbance, but not given an apartment number; they heard shouting from Stewart’s apartment, and say that her 12-year-old daughter had “visible injuries” to her face. The 12-year-old allegedly told officers her mother and older sister had beaten her with a belt. (Gothamist)

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Trend On Chinese Twitter: Women’s Armpit Hair Selfies


If a woman’s going to grow hair in her pits she should at least pretty it up with beads and Luster’s Pink Oil Moisturizer. #TeamNatural (Shanghaiist)

-Dewan Gibson

Man Takes Rap Video Shoot Too Seriously, Starts Actually Shooting People


Look at how the other guys just walk over the victim like he’s not even a person. I hope he recovers and comes back like 50 on all their sorry asses. But man, these struggle rappers are crazy. I might need to stop rejecting these mixtapes before one of these fools comes after me. From Gothamist:

According to the NYPD, at 1:10 a.m. on August 2, the suspect and victim got into an argument at 1439 Webster Avenue. The Daily News reported the pair were filming a rap video at the store, and got into an argument about who was actually the star; the store owner also said they were drunk.

At one point, police say the suspect took out his gun and fired at the victim repeatedly. (Note how he continues to hold his drink.) Then he beats the victim on the head with the gun before fleeing. Others inside the bodega walk by the victim without helping. The victim is in critical condition at Lincoln Hospital.

-Dewan Gibson

Prof. Puts Camera In Bathroom, Invites Students Over


I’m for all for evaluating if a lady can pass the toilet test (donk and thigh flesh should engulf and hang off the seat), but the proper way to do that is to hold your breath and kick in the door while your prospective woman is handling business. The camera in the tissue box is mad pervy, especially if it picks up audio. From SFist:

After an eight-month-long investigation, a former professor at the University of San Francisco and SF State stands accused of using a secret bathroom camera to record students from both schools as they used the facilities.

Mark Landis had taught accounting at SF State since 2006, and at USF for less than two years when a student at a November, 2013 party at Landis’ home noticed a tissue box on the toilet that, he discovered, contained a camera, the Ex reports.

The student took the memory card for the camera, and later “examined the contents of the memory card and saw that there were many instances of guests being filmed in the bathroom,” then turned the footage over to police.

SF District Attorney George Gascon told KTVU that at least 15 people appeared on the bathroom-cam tape, many of whom were past and current students of Landis’.

-Dewan Gibson

Craigslist iPhone Seller: ‘Trying To Get Money For Abortion’


I saw this floating around Facebook and decided to see if it was legit and apparently it’s real, though the seller has yet to respond to my offer of fifty bucks and unlicensed post-abortion counseling. Plus a free Planned Parenthood coupon that just maybe I had from back in the day.

planned parenthood coupon

-Dewan Gibson

Shaq, Waka Flocka Sued For Making Fun of Guy Who’s More Attractive On The Inside


I’m not sure this lawsuit is going anywhere, but Shaq should at least send him a pair of those Payless shoes he used to endorse and a bit of that hush money that he used to give to scorned harlots. Well, according to Kobe. From MLive:

A Warren man is suing three celebrities after they used the Internet to make fun of his rare disfiguring medical condition.

John W. Henke III of Southfield-based Henke Law Group on Wednesday filed a $25,000-plus lawsuit on behalf of 24-year-old Jahmel Binion against former NBA star Shaquille O’Neal; rapper Waka Flocka Flame, whose real name is Juaquin Malphurs; and Alphonso “Trey” Burke, a point guard with the NBA’s Utah Jazz and former University of Michigan basketball standout.

O’Neal in April posted a photo to Instagram and Twitter in which he distorted his face in an attempt to mock a photo of Binion, who has ectodermal dysplasia which produces abnormalities with the hair, teeth, nails, sweat glands and face.

-Dewan Gibson

Spike Lee Splices Radio Raheem & Eric Garner Chokehold Footage


What’s crazy is that the NYPD banned chokeholds in 1993, but I guess they make exceptions for “certain people.” (Byron Crawford)

-Dewan Gibson

Man Arrested For Molesting Rottweiler, Definitely Looks The Part


On the hipster or sex offender picture continuum he leans just slightly towards the latter. But just a little. “Interesting selfie, bro. Where’d you take it?” “Oh, that’s my picture from the Illinois Sex Offender Registry.” “Dope!” From the Chicagoist:

Prosecutors in downstate Edwardsville are seeking to have a man with a record of sexual abuse declared “sexually dangerous” after being arrested for allegedly molesting a Rottweiler puppy. Terry Wayne Davis, 44, was declared by one psychologist to not be sexually dangerous as defined under law, as well as fit to stand trial. Madison County prosecutors are seeking a second evaluation. According to the Alton Telegraph, Davis was indicted on three counts of sexual conduct with an animal, which his roommate allegedly witnessed.

-Dewan Gibson

Man Pretends To Be TSA Agent, Cops A Feel In Private Room


Just think, some guys like this actually become TSA agents. This dude probably would have, too, if he wasn’t a filthy rich private equity executive.

Federal law enforcement agencies on Wednesday were investigating the strange case of a man accused of impersonating a security officer at SFO and patting down a female passenger in a private security room…

A representative from the transportation security administration confirmed Wednesday night they are looking into this incident. The spokesperson said the man was not one of their employees, but rather just another ticketed passenger who managed to fool two unsuspecting female travelers…

According to the police report obtained by KTVU, Slighton was seen “waving at and entering the private screening room” near the exit of the Area A security checkpoint at the International Terminal at SFO with an unknown Asian passenger.

-Dewan Gibson

Another Young Female Teacher Accused Of Swaking Student


Over the past year or so more and more young female teachers have been caught boning students. It’s like a Skinemax movie, or maybe just my dream as a kid, come true. Ms. Watkins (pictured above) even gave the lucky dude weed. Man, if this is part of Common Core I’m definitely a supporter. From New York Daily News:

A Connecticut English teacher turned herself in Thursday on allegations that she had sex with and sent naked pictures of herself to one of her students at Stamford High School.

Danielle Watkins, 32, of Norwalk, allegedly had sex with the 18-year-old male numerous times in her car during school hours, off school property from September 2013 until June 2014, according to the Stamford Police Department.

At one point the victim tried to end the sexual encounters but Watkins attacked him and accused him of being with someone else, he said.

Watkins allegedly threatened to fail the student if they did not continue having sex so he waited until the school year ended in late June before telling a counselor about the predicament.

-Dewan Gibson